Verified by 
Words matter.
True, using two not-quite synonyms interchangeably will get past many listeners or readers. But the people you most want to influence will understand the difference, feel the difference, and maybe even change as you’d like them to. As a counselor and writer, I must think that way.
So here are pairs of words that many people use interchangeably but that convey a subtly different message.
Emotions
Support vs help. Support implies listening and encouragement but not help. Help implies advice-giving or actual assistance. Today, a subset of readers views "help” as disempowering, denying the person agency. So when I mean “help” not just "support," I have to decide whether to sacrifice accuracy to avoid alienating that subset.
Self-efficacy vs self-confidence or self-esteem. Albert Bandura defines self-efficacy as a person’s belief in his or her capacity to accomplish tasks. I often find that term more useful than “self-esteem” or “self-confidence because it’s tied to accomplishment, either within a specific category or across-the-board.
Active vs hyperactive. The term “hyperactive,” means "too active." Today, it also implies the person's problem is intrinsic, like a disease. So I default to using “active” unless I clearly mean someone intrinsically overactive rather than, for example, active in response to a boring teacher.
Sadness vs malaise vs depression. “Sadness” could be quite temporary. “Malaise” implies longer-lasting sadness. Depression refers to an even longer time frame and a pervasive apathy, a dark cloud around everything,
Drive vs motivation. Drive implies a greater degree of motivation.
Jerk vs a more specific denigration. “Jerk” is used predominantly to describe men and so is sexist. Also, "jerk” is a broad, not-descriptive term. So instead, I use the most accurate descriptor I can, for example, “miserly,” “insensitive,” or “impulsive.”
Complain versus whine. “Complain” merely means the person objects. “Whine” implies objecting incessantly in length or tone.
Immutable vs unchangeable. “Immutable” refers to the unchangeability of something central. For example, “Some moms believe their child’s personality, from birth or even before, was already rather immutable."
Wise vs smart. One can be smart without being wise. Wisdom implies considering many key factors, pragmatic and loftier.
Reflect vs think. A person can "think" on the fly but "reflection" implies time taken to carefully consider the issue.
Muse vs think. Musing implies less linear, more leisurely reflection.
Statement vs assertion vs claim. A statement is value-neutral. If I term a statement an assertion, it implies the statement isn’t necessarily correct. If I want to tinge the statement with doubt about it, I’ll call it a claim.
Espouse vs advocate or inveigh. I use this to refer to a person advocating a position without excess zeal. When I want to express more passion, I’ll use "advocate," “inveigh,” “demand, etc.
Intelligence vs reasoning or complex problem solving. Today, in some circles, “intelligence” is emotionally charged so before using it, I consider whether “reasoning” or “complex problem solving” might be a wiser choice. True, those terms are less comprehensive but I often decide it's worth it to not alienate a subset of readers.
High-achieving vs high-high-potential. Often, it’s more accurate to say “high- (or low) potential' when referring to one’s capability. But again, “high-potential" is emotionally charged for some people—They're offended by the implication that achievement may be significantly predetermined. So, on a case-by-case basis, I decide whether it’s worth sacrificing precision of language to avoid angering such readers.
Select vs choose. Select implies a bit more aforethought.
Work
Challenge vs problem. A challenge is a problem that may well be solvable. "Problem” doesn’t imply that—Some problems may, at least for now, be unsolvable. I bristle against calling a problem a challenge just to appease the “you can do it if only you try” crowd. So I choose “challenge” vs “problem” based only on which term more accurately conveys my intended meaning.
Address vs solve. One can address a problem without solving it. I use “address” when it’s unclear whether it’s solvable.
Entrepreneur vs self-employed. An entrepreneur isn’t just self-employed. S/he has a penchant and nose for profit-making opportunities and the moxie to convert the idea into a successful business plan. So a self-employed bookkeeper that keeps the business alive without desire for expansion or innovation is self-employed but not an entrepreneur.
Strategy vs tactic. Strategy refers to the big-picture goal. Tactics are steps in implementing the strategy.
Advisor vs coach vs consultant. The advisor gives advice, the coach mainly listens and asks questions, and the consultant is a hybrid.
Policy
Equal vs fair. Treating people equally may not be fair. For example, if a more productive worker is paid the same as unproductive ones, it's equal but unfair.
Revenue vs money. Some advocates of raising taxes use “revenue” because it obfuscates that the taxpayer is paying. So I usually write "money."
Nation vs society vs humankind. Sometimes, a statement refers only to a single nation but when my policy recommendations aren't constrained by geography, I use “society” or if an idea is universal in applicability, “humankind.”
Neighborhood vs the community. Neighborhood only implies a geographic connection while "the community" implies significant additional connectedness. Liberal politicians trying to inculcate the “It takes a village” rather than “individual initiative” mindset assiduously use “the community” rather than “neighborhood.” I use “community” only when describing a group of people significantly interacting on each other’s behalf.
Company vs corporation. Society’s mind-molders---the colleges and media—have trained their sights on critiquing corporations and use that word. So today, the word “corporation,” which used to be value-neutral, is seen by many people as evil. If I’m trying to be value-neutral, I use the word “company.”
Disproportionate vs high percentage.Of late, "disproportionate" is being used to imply an imbalance that demands remedy. For example, “A disproportionate number of PhD holders are white and Asian.” So, I now only use "disproportionate" what I want to convey that. Otherwise, I'll say, “A high percentage of Ph.D holders…
”Liberal vs progressive. In recent years, liberals increasingly call themselves “progressive” because “liberal’ implies liberally spending taxpayer money whereas progressive implies forward thinking. Most people favor progress over government spending.
Activist vs advocate. “Activist” implies more aggressiveness and passion than “advocate.”
Mass transit vs transit. “Mass transit” refers to a mode of transportation that conveys large numbers of people. “Transit” is a less accurate when describing buses and trains because the term includes cars and motorcycles. Nevertheless, mass transit advocates usually use “transit” because few people want to be part of a mass. And “mass” implies crowding. In the name of accuracy, I am among the minority that still use “mass transit" when that's the accurate term.
Miscellaneous
Encourage vs urge. I often use those terms when issuing a call to action. When I believe something is desirable but not crucial, I use “encourage.” When I’m confident it’s vital, I use “urge”
Gene editing vs gene therapy vs genetic engineering. Some writers and activists associate “gene therapy” and especially “genetic engineering" with the horrific Nazi eugenic experiments. So most current writing on the subject, including mine, uses the term “gene editing,” especially since, this year, a breakthrough technique—CRISP-R literally enables editing of genes.
The takeaway
Do you want to more often make one of those distinctions above?
Marty Nemko's bio is in Wikipedia. His newest book, his 8th, is The Best of Marty Nemko.
