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I recently published a book that discusses how we can use our leisure time to promote health, happiness, and improve at our daily tasks. Consequently, I’ve been giving talks to lots of different audiences lately discussing how people can use their leisure time most effectively.
Interestingly, something consistently happens at these talks that I never would have anticipated: When I’m finished speaking, people regularly come up to me and confide that when they are trying to enjoy some time away from their daily obligations they feel guilty about not working, regardless of whether their “work” involves paid employment or other things, like caring for an ailing relative. They also ask me how to stop feeling this way.
If you find that you experience guilt while trying to enjoy a little downtime (or what I prefer to call uptime), consider these prescriptions:
1. Recognize your tendencies. You’ll have a tough time addressing your guilt if you don’t first notice that it is occurring. If you detect that you feel a blunt sense of anxiety or tension when you’re trying to get away from your obligations and relax, try paying closer attention to the experience. Is this really guilt? Is it perhaps boredom? Stress?
2. Consider why you feel guilty. Do you have some important, unfinished task which leaves a colleague unable make progress on a project, in which case the guilt may be justified? Do you feel that you are letting someone down? Is your identity invested heavily in work, in which case being away from your obligations is a threat to your ego? Do you need to keep busy because you are uncomfortable with your own thoughts? Or do you just feel that you should always be working? You can’t effectively address the guilt until you identify its source.
3. Do a priorities audit. Many of us get socialized into thinking that external measures of success are of primary importance, and they are certainly relevant, but the time you take for yourself is equally important in building a successful life. Think about and write down your life priorities and consider how your leisure time helps you achieve them.
4. Acknowledge that you deserve to enjoy your time. We often feel indebted and obligated to other people, and indeed, some degree of accountability to others is part of being a mature individual, but we are also entitled to take time for ourselves sometimes to promote our physical and psychological health. Be a little selfish. After all, this is your life.
5. Recognize that you’re getting better at your tasks. One of the things that happens when we use our leisure time effectively is that we enhance our ability to perform well at our daily obligations. Particularly for workaholic types, alleviating feelings of guilt may come from the realization that enjoying some downtime is an important part of achieving top-notch performance.
I don’t experience leisure guilt, so it has been a surprise to me to learn how many other people apparently do. Work can certainly be more productive than leisure pursuits, but is it necessary to always be productive to feel good? Babies smile and laugh all the time, but they make for terribly unproductive employees and caregivers. When do people lose their ability to enjoy the simple pleasures of occasionally being idle, or revel in the joy of self-chosen activities? Overcoming leisure guilt is an important objective in a world where so many of us have learned how to strive but forgotten how to bask.
