Damp and Dry January and Emotional Wellness

The new year is often a time for reflection, resolution, and resetting habits. Millions of Americans participate in “Dry January,” the monthlong commitment to abstain from alcohol as a way to improve health and reassess one’s relationship with drinking. While 25 percent of Americans reported completing the challenge in 2024, others opted for “Damp January,” where alcohol consumption was reduced rather than eliminated.

This shift from “dry” to “damp” highlights a broader issue: our deep reliance on external “soothers” to regulate emotion and avoid discomfort. Alcohol is just one soother we turn to when life feels overwhelming. Others might include sugar, chocolate, social media, binge-watching TV, gaming, pornography, or scrolling endlessly through our phones. While these behaviors may provide short-term relief, they mask a deeper issue: our inability, or unwillingness, to sit with uncomfortable emotions.

The Psychology of Outside Soothers

We reach for external soothers, such as alcohol or sugar, to relieve uncomfortable emotions like stress, loneliness, or boredom. From a psychological perspective, these unhealthy soothers fall under emotion-focused coping, where we try to alleviate the emotional distress associated with a problem rather than addressing the root cause.

As humans, we are naturally drawn to behaviors that provide instant gratification. Alcohol, for example, may reduce cortisol levels and activate dopamine, providing a temporary sense of relief. Chocolate releases endorphins, in particular enkephalin, that similarly “erase” pain or discomfort for a time. Interestingly, enkephalin was the subject of a study on the effects of M&M’s: When research participants ate M&M’s, enkephalin increased 150 percent, similar to the surges experienced with the drug opium (DiFeliceantonio et al., 2012).

In her book The Craving Cure, Julia Ross explains five types of “cravers”: Depressed, Crashed, Comfort, Stressed, and Fatigued (2017). Ross offers an assessment tool to determine your “craver” types and severity. She then connects each type with the biochemical and neurological factors found in the desired foods and substances.

For example, Anna is consciously healthy in many areas yet she feels out of control with chocolate. This aligns with Ross’s “Comfort Craver.” These individuals crave substances that provide pleasure or reward. Beyond chocolate, these individuals “love” doughy or creamy foods and may also reach for alcohol, pain-killing drugs, over-exercising, pornography, and/or gambling. When these individuals indulge these cravings, endorphins temporarily relieve discomfort, similar to opioids.

Taking Ross’s insights a step further, instead of indulging the urges, Anna can ask herself, “Where did this need for ‘comfort’ begin?” For Anna, she identifies chocolate as a “friend” when she felt lonely or fearful as a child. Growing up, her mother struggled with alcohol and her father traveled a great deal for work. This pattern of chocolate becoming the “fix” for loneliness continued unchecked into adulthood.

When she wants chocolate, Anna might ask: “Why do I crave comfort right now? What emotions are present? Where do I feel the emotion in my body? How can I provide comfort to myself in healthier ways? Can I simply sit with my emotions?”

One of the most difficult aspects of Dry January (or similar challenges) is learning to face discomfort without succumbing, numbing, or distracting ourselves. When we remove our go-to coping mechanisms, we’re left with raw emotions that we may not know how to handle.

This is where the concept of emotion regulation becomes critical. Healthy coping involves acknowledging and allowing emotions rather than suppressing or negating them. Recognizing that discomfort, though unpleasant, is temporary and tolerable, is a skill that must be consciously developed.

Yogic and Mindfulness Traditions on Discomfort

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Yogic and mindfulness traditions offer profound insights into this practice. In yoga, there’s the concept of “tapas,” often translated as “discipline” or “inner fire.” Tapas involves cultivating the ability to endure discomfort, whether it’s holding a challenging pose or confronting an emotional block, with patience and steadiness. This practice is not about forcing yourself to suffer but about building compassion and self-acceptance.

Similarly, mindfulness teaches the importance of nonjudgmental awareness. Rather than trying to quell any discomfort, mindfulness encourages us to observe the sensation without labeling it as “good” or “bad.” Instead of numbing stress with alcohol or chocolate, mindfulness invites us to notice where a sensation manifests in the body, what thoughts accompany it, and how it shifts over time.

These practices remind us that discomfort is not the enemy. Instead, with curiosity, we can explore our deeper needs. Stress might indicate that we’re overcommitted, loneliness might signal a desire for connection, and boredom might point to a lack of fulfillment. By accepting emotions rather than avoiding them, we gain clarity and a sense of agency over our lives.

Developing Healthier Coping Mechanisms

Source: Vlada Karpovich/Pexels

While external soothers may temporarily ease discomfort, they often perpetuate unhealthy cycles of dependence. We can replace these patterns with healthier coping strategies that promote long-term emotional well-being. Here are a few steps:

1. Cultivate Awareness: The first step to breaking free from unhealthy soothers is to recognize when and why you’re turning to them. Journaling, meditating, and mindfully investigating emotional triggers, craving cues, and patterns redirects the focus away from the “want” to the “why.”

2. Build Emotional Resilience: Develop the ability to tolerate discomfort by practicing self-compassion and patience. Remind yourself that all emotions are temporary and they will pass. Daily breathwork practices assist this process.

3. Find Alternatives: Replace unhealthy habits with behaviors that nurture your mind and body. Exercise, yoga, creative hobbies, or even calling a friend can provide healthy outlets for emotional expression.

4. Seek Support: If emotions feel overwhelming, consider seeking guidance from a therapist. Gather and expand your list of tools for processing emotions and understanding how old wounds drive cravings.

Dry January is more than just a break from alcohol; it’s a mirror that reflects our deeper relationship with discomfort. While it’s natural to seek external comforts, over-reliance on unhealthy soothers often keeps us disconnected from our true selves. By learning to sit with discomfort, we can break free from the cycle of numbing and develop healthier, more fulfilling ways to emotionally nourish ourselves.