How to Develop a Growth Mindset

Parents want their kids to grow up to be hardy and resilient. They understand life is only going to get more complicated as they grow older, with an increasing number of possible points of failure and disappointment. The best we can do is train our children to overcome adversity and push themselves forward, even when conditions aren’t in their favor.

The mindset that drives such a response to failure is called a “growth mindset.” Originally coined by psychologist Carol Dweck, a growth mindset refers to the valuing of hard work, effort, and persistence as determinants of success. When someone with a growth mindset fails, they don’t think, “I’m just not good enough.” They think, “Next time I need to try harder.”

Though it would be easy to suggest that cultivating this way of thinking is just a matter of changing a few thoughts, the reality is that a growth mindset is shaped by the environment your kid is in—namely, their peers, coaches, and parents.

Helping your children develop a growth mindset—an outlook that embraces challenges and sees abilities as qualities that can be developed over time—can be a game-changer in their lives. This mindset builds resilience and persistence and fosters a love for learning and self-improvement. Here’s a look at 6 science-backed steps you can take to help instill this invaluable mindset in your children.

1. Focus on Effort, Not Just Outcomes

One of the cornerstones of a growth mindset is valuing the process over the product. When children are praised solely for their successes or inherent talents, they may develop a fixed mindset. They might think they’re “good” at something because of an innate ability rather than their effort, which can discourage them from taking on new challenges.

To foster a growth mindset, emphasize effort, persistence, and strategies. For instance, instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” try, “I’m proud of how hard you worked on this.” This shifts their focus from being “smart” to being someone who works hard, a key to unlocking resilience. Research shows that acknowledging effort rather than inherent talent promotes resilience and perseverance, as children learn that success is something they can work toward rather than something static​ (Dweck, 2006).

2. Normalize Mistakes as Learning Opportunities

Fear of failure often holds children back. By shifting the focus from success to learning, you can help your children see mistakes as part of the growth process. When they encounter a setback, discuss it openly. Ask, “What can you learn from this experience?” or “How might you approach this differently next time?”

This perspective teaches children to embrace challenges as a necessary part of improvement. You can reinforce this by sharing stories of people who achieved success through perseverance, reminding them that even the best make mistakes. For instance, Roger Federer, one of tennis's all-time greats, learned to let go of self-criticism and view each loss as a learning opportunity, ultimately strengthening his performance and confidence.

3. Teach the Power of “Yet”

Adding “yet” to a statement transforms it from defeatist to optimistic. For example, if your child says, “I can’t do this,” encourage them to rephrase with “I can’t do this yet.” This small change has a significant psychological impact. It fosters resilience and helps them recognize that their current struggle doesn’t determine their future capabilities. With time, effort, and practice, they can get better.

This technique helps children shift their thinking, reducing the stress they feel about immediate performance. It reinforces that their abilities are not fixed but rather can be developed through hard work and perseverance.

4. Create an Environment That Encourages Persistence

Your child’s environment plays a significant role in shaping their mindset. The right support, structure, and encouragement can foster persistence.

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As a parent, you can create this environment by setting clear, achievable goals and celebrating progress toward them. Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable parts so that they can experience success along the way.

5. Be Mindful of Language and Feedback

The language you use with your children shapes their beliefs. Small shifts can have a profound impact. For instance, avoid labeling them as “naturally gifted” in certain areas, as this may lead to a fixed mindset where they avoid areas where they don’t immediately excel. Instead, encourage phrases like, “You worked really hard on this, and it shows,” or “Your strategy here was effective.”

In providing constructive feedback, focus on areas they can control—like their approach, effort, or planning—rather than qualities like intelligence or talent. This helps them view improvement as a matter of working smarter and harder, rather than a factor of innate ability.

6. Model a Growth Mindset in Your Own Life

Children are keen observers, and one of the best ways to instill a growth mindset is to model it yourself. Show them how you handle setbacks, approach challenges, and learn new skills. Share your thought process when facing difficulties. For instance, if you’re struggling with a new task, talk through your approach: “I’m having a hard time with this, but I know if I keep working on it, I’ll get better.”

Seeing you approach challenges with patience, optimism, and resilience teaches them they can do the same. Additionally, be open about your mistakes. This normalizes the idea that everyone—children and adults alike—can learn and improve over time.

Building a Growth Mindset is a Journey

Fostering a growth mindset is not about creating a constant cheerleader for positivity but rather about building a foundation of resilience, curiosity, and a love for learning. It’s about teaching children that they have control over their progress and encouraging them to lean into challenges rather than shy away from them.

With consistent support, feedback focused on effort, and your modeling, your child will gradually develop the confidence to see setbacks as stepping stones to growth. This journey takes time, but it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give—a mindset that empowers them to keep learning and growing, no matter what life throws their way.