What a fascinating group of TOPICS that I can RELATE to! In one word,- "WOW"!!! The 2 stories that I've read about "A man is A Man is A MAN" & the story about the poor kid that was born MALE & was changed to FEMALE was very interesting, but also very SAD to know that he committed suicide at an early age, because of HIS situation. If I'm not mistaking there was a movie about this made a long time ago. I was saddened to know that he just couldn't accept himself as female, when deep inside his soul, he knew he was still a man. If that had happened to me, I really don't know what I would have done under the same circumstance.

After reading your subject about a man, is a man, is a man, - I can relate to what I read. I am a 53 year old male and am GAY. I never married and have no children, which I struggle with sometimes, because I know how disappointed my father was, when he knew I wasn't heterosexual. Being GAY probably wasn't a choice I made because of me personally, but because of things in my life from childhood, adolescence, and eventually early adulthood, that turned me AWAY from women sexually. I was beaten by a "sitter", named TRACY who was a BITCH with me, when I was in the 3rd grade at age 5 or 6. She would use a brissel hairbrush and beat my bare ass with it once a day after going to her home after school. The worst thing she did to me was strip me down, and expose me to the kids her age from the high school, and they would laugh at me. Then she took me inside and beat me again in the same manner. Then she would apply petroleum ointment to hide the brush marks on my ass.

When I was at a swim school in Hollywood, CA I was molested by a man at age 11 in my early stage of puberty. I ended up liking it because it felt good what he was doing to me.

Then there was my mother. She was a good woman that did her best in raising me to become a good person. However she was a BULLY with me all the time. She didn't stop hitting me until I was in my 30s. She loved me, but was as they say "THE HEAVY"!!! I was raised the only child because of being adopted.

Before all this happened to me I can still remember to this day that I liked "girls" and had girlfriends during my elementary school years. However because of what I endured over the years, I shied away from girls and was moved to the comfort of being around boys and guys my age. I didn't have to compete with how to make girls like me. During high school I had a few girlfriends, and after I graduated she dumped me, because I wouldn't have sex with her. I was still living at home and was raised not to have sex before marriage. This is a kicker. There was a guy on the next street up from where I lived at my parents home during HS. He would come to the house while my parents were at work, and he introduced me to the experimentation of gay sex. We did oral and masturbation on a regular basis. then one day he went further with me. He gave me my first anal penetration which was PAINFUL. I've never forgotten it. He tore my insides and I bled. Before I was at public high school I was at an ALL MALE Catholic High School. Even before high school I was at the Boys Club of Hollywood for about 3 or 4 years. Being around boys all the time, things went on with guys my age. Mostly touching each other and a little oral. When I was with my girlfriend during high school, I was having gay sex with the guy, and wouldn't have sex with her. the reason for this was because I was now exposed to gay sex and I liked it. I was comfortable because I was with a guy.

At age 24 I enlisted in the Navy. I served 3 1/2 years and again was around men all the time. Things did happen while at sea, and only 1 time when in port in Norfolk, VA. I came to the reality that I was a HOMO, and could not change even though I knew it wasn't right. I couldn't help it and could only accept it.

I am very masculine for being gay. I not into fem or girlie guys. I'm attracted to men that have dark features and nice hard bods. I could never understand why straight men can get turned on to guys that are trannies with fake breasts and a cock with balls between their legs, until I read your story about this. As a much older man told me once when I asked him why he likes sex with guygirls, his answer to me was, "I get the best of both at the same time. When he/she is doing me, I have her tits in my face bouncing around and that turns me on". This man I was talking to was even married and had grown children of his own. I was floored and confused. that sort of thing isn't for me at all. I like a MAN to be a MAN.

My last relationship with a man was more than 20 years ago. I've been single ever since. The only way I can relieve myself and my urges is to J/O to gay porn that is with available on my tablet such as Pornhub, XNXX, and others that serve my needs. Will I ever have another male partner again in my life before I depart this life? I don't know. I leave it up to God.

I'm not a devote Catholic but have my beliefs that I was taught and raised with. A lot of times I struggle with the belief that when its time for me to die, will I go to Heaven or Hell because of being GAY and J/O to gay porn all the time? I am a heart patient and have experienced DEATH twice. The last one I REMEMBER DYING and being shocked back to life after being dead for 2 minutes. I have 2 stents and had a Triple Bypass in 2014. When I died, I WAS SO SCARED because I knew I WAS DYING and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I also have Congestive Heart Failure as well as other heart conditions. This is why I say I leave it up to God. I hope and pray that he will forgive me for being gay and not send me to the fires of Hell.

Thanks for reading & THANK YOU for your informative articles which I have found answers to my personal questions about my gay life and sexual needs with understanding.