A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude.
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I think it's perfectly natural, what you're feeling. Children are so helpless, so demanding, that we must bend all our thoughts toward them almost all of the time. I think it's very easy to feel as you do. I also think it's a grave mistake to pretend all the feelings you had before you had children—fears, ambitions, likes, dislikes, and so on—have simply been erased. You are as much a person as you always were. I also don't think it's right to allow that person to be subsumed by your role as "mother." Take time to be yourself. That is, to express your other selves. As important as your children may and should be to you, that doesn't mean your own personhood isn't and shouldn't be just as important (I know, sacrilege—but true).
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