The concept that is being consistently ignored here is that being *on time* is the goal, and something in the neighborhood of ten minutes early or ten minutes late is fine. If you have married a narcissistic bully who demands that you arrive to all events either 45 minutes early OR 45 minutes late, (both of which are just plain rude and domineering/ controlling and narcissistic)
Then it's on YOU to put your foot down and reach a compromise with your bully of a husband, such as agreeing to be ten minutes early (or on time) from now on.

The point, again, is that being on time is thoughtful, polite, and respectful of the needs and feelings of others, and being chronically extremely late or chronically extremely early is just weird, even rude (if it's a formal dinner or party event in someone's home) and rather passive-aggressive or covertly hostile.

Own it.