"Engage the assistance of someone you trust." As you suggest, I believe this is an excellent way to start the process of seeing your deception in action. For in our relationships with others, we are often most reactive but will want to blame the other person for our feelings instead of look at what it is about us that we need to resolve. There is a more-or-less objective truth out there. And the more you can both see what you are bringing to the table that is contributing to your perceptions of reality, the more freedom you will have to make choices consistent with the life you want.

For more examples, see http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/Cortney-Warren-Honest-Liars-The-;search%3Awarren. My book also has lots of examples, both from my own life and from what I see in people.