Values are what bring distinction to your life. You don't find them, you choose them. And when you do, you're on the path to fulfillment.
My hats off to you Shirley. I like the way that you've stood your ground and have protected your children.
I know that compromising isn't high on my list of relational tools when dealing with my MIL or my mother. My MIL turns into a child in my company and wants me to take care of her emotionally & physically. My husband and I limit her interactions with our children, as if she spends to much time with our son she demonstrates this creepy dependency and admiration of him. We also stay on the outside of the family circle. However, she recently told my husband that she felt disconnected from us, so I extended in olive branch and included her in a family outing....ouch. She acted oblivious to the cost and effort we put in to include her in the outing. She talked about her stuff the whole time, including all the ways that she had taken care of others through a church ministry yet she didn't even remember mine or my husbands' birthdays. She didn't engage with our children and she wined about how she needed to take us to dinner for our birthdays. (She does this frequently when it comes to holidays & birthdays.) I feel awful - angry and hurt. I'm confronted again with her inability to take us in as separate people. I won't be including her in a family outing again.
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