Values are what bring distinction to your life. You don't find them, you choose them. And when you do, you're on the path to fulfillment.
I do think we are in the same situation. Been with my bf for over 20 yrs and we had minimal contact with his mother. His parents are divorced and we dont see his dad. My mum always had a good relationship with my bf but I was always distant with his mother from day one. She is Turkish so there is a language barrier. Since having my boy 2 yrs ago she has been angry with us. She did not agree on baby name and wanted her say in it. We mentioned the name was as is. Then she had no contact for 6 months at least, did not want to skype, see or hear from us including baby. We lived abroad and now I returned with baby, unfortunately she moved in meantime 5 min from our home and expects she can pop by each day whenever she wants. I work from home 5 days and my son goes to daycare 2,5 days. 1 day my mum takes care and she can come on Monday mornings. No she does not want to do that and wants my son to be with her or she wants to come by every evening for 10-15 min. I feel my privacy and mommy time will not be happening if she drops by. She has her opinions which are different which is fine but disrespects my wishes. She told my husband i keep her away from the baby as she has every right to visit when she wants. And that i lie. I did not accept her telling my bf I lie....and confronted her. She was telling me Im a bad mother/ should speak her language and be like a Turkish woman. God would punish me etc. My mom was bad person for not telling me how to behave etc....i said Im a grownup person and understand she might feel lonely ( all other grandchildren are not interested in her anymore as they are termagers and have their own frirnds and sports). But I refuge to be responsible for her happiness. She needs to make her own friend etc. I told her im not Turkish and will never be. If she wants a Turkish dil she should find one for my bf. I am just not letting her negativity rule my life. That i should feel uncomfortable being out whilst she might stand infront of a closed door or even tells my bf I dont open the door for her....i never would have guessed this would happen to me but the bedt way for me to deal with it is do what I want to do and keep mentioning she is welcome on Monday mornings. This leaves me with time with my friends and family for the rest of the week. But she refuses to come on Mondays. Well as long as my bf and myself are on 1 line its ok but as soon as she keeps on terrorising my bf ( calling and complaining) and he starts giving in I would sell the house and move abroad or at least few hours from her. I hope you are ok and will not let toxic people ruin your life. Take care Denise
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