After 12 years of marriage and 2 grandchildren we have discovered that my DIL has been having a relationship with a known lesbian. This woman broke up a marriage previously before setting her sights on our DIL. Between them they invented stories about my son and continue trying to keep their affair under wraps in an attempt to protect this influential predator. The woman is funding my DIL's costs as she did in the previous marriage breakup.
Having begun the separation in a 'friendly' manner she has turned really ugly, abusing my son at every turn and sending abusive accusatory emails to my husband and I when she is not happy with something.
We loaned them nearly 250,000 to buy their house, we pay for the kids schooling plus all the other extras. She called upon us to help with the kids regularly and now threatens that we will not see them.
Why is the DIL never seen as the problem?

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