Dreams have been described as dress rehearsals for real life, opportunities to gratify wishes, and a form of nocturnal therapy. A new theory aims to make sense of it all.
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It's essential that your explanation doesn't sound at all as though it's a justification. And before you explain yourself you need to "get" where SHE is coming from, and reflect this back to her to create a situation in which she'll be more likely to respond with understanding and compassion.
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