You make an good point that the lists are confusing. I state at the outset that some people may be choose to be unavailable for good reasons. There is no judgment The first list is written from the p.o.v. of the partner. It may describe a narcissist, but also someone who is not a narcissist and not abusive. The second list has introspective questions to be answered by someone who is described by the first list or by his or her partner or date. Many people who are unavailable don't know it and can unintentionally mislead others. You don't have to be a narcissist to be seductive or controlling.