How to activate your brain's superpowers.
A very courageous blog considering what you went through, so thank you for sharing. No one deserves that. And to think that an adult who postures as a role model (scout leader) not only countenanced the bullying but endorsed it is truly deplorable.
I would like to add a few other observations.
The bully learns to bully from being bullied, by parents, siblings or because of viewing examples in media and culture. Likewise the bullied, will learn therefore to bully. Perhaps the bullying will be physical; perhaps it will be emotional, or perhaps it will be social. The vehicle is less important than the fact there is a pull for illusory and compensatory self-esteem through oppression of others. What must be reinforced is the critically important fact that the action (bullying) does not take place in a vacuum, it is always consistent with social and cultural mores and values that dominate society, at all levels. It may manifest in one place in time in one way and in another in a different way. The important characteristic is the oppressive desire, which comes again from past oppression. The oppression can take a variety of forms and have variable orders of magnitude, the point is the lesson it teaches observers.
It is all very well recounted in family dynamics by way of the Karpman Triangle (1968, Stephen Karpman, MD). The problem is not in picking out one of the family members in the Karpman Triangle or one element in the triads in social settings, since the behaviors just migrate. Typically one is asked to “open the trapdoor” out of those toxic family or relationship patterns, but for most, especially in schoolyards or workplaces, that is almost impossible and as a long term sustainable solution it is clearly impractical. The answer then lies in making bullying unsustainable through the development of societies that are inclusive not exclusive.
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