So you shouldn't "spin your wheels" looking for compliments, but being more generous in complimenting others is OK, because you might get some back. Isn't that the same thing? The problem, he says, is that "We’ve been taught that we’re selfish if we bask in the good feeling it brings." By whom? It is not clear. Again, the elephant in the room, never to be mentioned in case it leads you to understanding yourself, is our parents. If you find compliments painful it's because your parents were too self absorbed and damaged to properly cherish and value you as a child. If you are addicted to compliments it's because it assuages that dreadful feeling of not being loved, and why you need it all the time. It's a painkiller.