1. Don't assume a "one size fits all ", it's a list of suggestions that an individual should choose from depending on their current needs and preferences
2. Perhaps if you approached the ideas with some more self compassion and openness, rather than the irritation and negativity that come over in your post?
3. If we don't learn to deal with our thoughts and emotions we are truly stuck with them: no one can do it on our behalf!
Personally I do sometimes find that writing down "stuff from my head" is helpful - to put some distance between myself and the issue, to structure the thoughts differently (or simply more coherently),to look at it from different perspectives (though with my "rich inner life" I can find new perspectives almost ad infinitum!) etc
Regarding your comment about lack of control of transient thoughts, it's definitely not a nonsense! The next item on the list- mindfulness, and other forms of meditation can help massively not just with pain response but other sensitivities such as overwhelm and anxiety.
These techniques can take practice though so you definitely need to feel a willingness to try and make them work for you!

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