A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude.
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I don't forgive people for them, I forgive them for me, & unless/until someone seeks knowledge of my forgiveness, I do not enlighten them to my forgiveness.
I don't believe in the saying "Forgive & forget". I strongly believe that one must remember the forgiveness they have given in order to avoid being mistreated.
I know your situation is different, Dr. Barreca, as the person you are forgiving is deceased, but I hope you can take heart in my beliefs:
I believe that with death comes ultimate enlightenment to not only our victories but our greatest failures. I believe that those who have wronged us are waiting on the other side to apologize for their transgressions against us... And I believe that we must forgive them in order to continue with our lives despite the impact they have/had on us. In forgiveness, we find love & in love we find understanding.
And if you believe in the Christian doctrine: A person who is unable to forgive may find themselves unforgiven according to some believers (though not in my opinion... I believe my God is all about Love & Forgiveness).
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