There are ways to temper your toughest critic and take constructive control of your feelings.
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"She has two grown children. One is a daughter who does not speak to Susan."
You seem to have left out the most important detail of the story. The silent treatment and ostracism is bully behavior. The daughter was being a bully by not speaking to her mother. Once she changed her own behavior and stopped bullying the bully progress began to made.
I know those who shut bullies out, go no contact and cut-off relationships don't want to talk or hear about their own bullying behaviors. It's easier to justify social ostracism when you can point the finger at the bad behavior of the other. But bullying bullies is not any better than being the bully who's being bullied. We haven't ever, and never will improve on dysfunctional family patterns or cycles of abuse by substituting one form of abuse for another. The silent treatment and social ostracism are extreme forms of emotional abuse.
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