Values are what bring distinction to your life. You don't find them, you choose them. And when you do, you're on the path to fulfillment.
A big part of this problem. He tolerated it and subjected the children to this behavior by not stepping up and protecting them (when they were little). He was complicit. It is a wonder his kids are still even talking to him too - they probably knew he would never take a stand when they needed it the most - when they were minor children. What a disgrace but this is probably not uncommon behavior.
Research shows that life changes are stressful. These suggestions can help.
Holding onto old behaviors might have a purpose.
Psychology explains why reports of wrongdoing are often attacked.