I think one of the main reasons for the PA behavior is to make the other to behave in a desired way rather than just hurting one's feeling. The latter (hurting the feeling by way of PA treatment, behavior) is to mold the other person to their own desired behavior. PA person doesn't see the other as equal being that needs to choose hers/ his. If they don't desire to behave in the PA person's way, PA's behavior (to intimidate, manipulate) coerces the other person to their desired behavior.