The reality is, other people are going to talk to your kids about weight. I have a higher weight (but healthy) 8 year old who gets talked to by family and classmates and a very fit 5 year old who just asked me if he was fat yesterday. I answered that he wasn't, but that fat didn't matter. I asked, "Can you run and jump and play without getting tired quickly?" The 5 year old said yes, and I said,well, that's what matters- that you can enjoy yourself and feel good.

The 8 year old heard this and indicated that she couldn't. I told her she should play more, and she'll get tired less quickly.

Was this the right way to do it? I don't know. But, I do know that you can not talk about weight to your kids all day long and somebody else will- not in a nice way, either, regardless of his or her size. You have to be prepared to discuss weight, even if you don't bring it up.