Dreams have been described as dress rehearsals for real life, opportunities to gratify wishes, and a form of nocturnal therapy. A new theory aims to make sense of it all.
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Another great article by Peg.
Where do I start?
The most glaring thing in these researches or maybe I overlooked is what the selves were like before the relationship influence. I guess that is hard to research.
I have been single for a long time. I dated a lot but no long term relationship from the age of 26 to 42. That is a long enough to develop my selfhood.
I expanded (I definitely did not self prune) but I expanded myself. I consciously (most of the time) practiced self kindness.
Now I was also very clear that I was not attracted to situations that may constrict me...I was repulsed by them.
The interesting thing after break up what happens?
You mentioned here a self expanding relationship may result self constriction but I gotta say I do not know for everybody but for me...I do think I would probably go back to self expanding...because I am very conscious of this (even though I did not have the language for it)...I observed others who tried so hard to be with a person (to fit in) when they did not.
So I would say after break up if a self expanding relationship result self constriction, was it really self expanding relationship then? Causing giving up your individual in a relationship is sort of losing game for long term...after all we all die at some point and not exactly together.
Is this why a lot of women who have been married for a long time (happily even) say they will never marry again? they see themselves as self constricting after the relationship.
I always tell my fiance, if god forbid we are no longer together, I have very strong feeling there are good men out there...he gives me more faith in men than the other way around.
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