It’s high time we put the most enduring myths about human behavior to bed, and see the mind—and the world—as it is.
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Creating life today with tomorrow in mind
Holly Parker, Ph.D.
It's understandable that many people are not in a big hurry to try couples therapy. Here's why they might want to give it a shot anyway.
Researchers haven’t identified a way to prevent the wellness perks of vacation from waning, but they’ve been examining what's connected to how readily those perks wear off.
Even if our partner seems outwardly angry or nonchalant, we might want to consider the possibility that we’re only seeing the cover of a more fragile, concerned interior.
If I told you that gratitude is good for couples, this probably doesn’t seem all that surprising. But what kinds of specific advantages is it associated with?
We often believe that if we repeat the same experience, it’s going to lose its luster. But research suggests this isn't true.
When we self-expand, we widen our understanding of who we are, what we’re able to do, and how we view life. This is linked to relationship wellness.
When the goal is to stand out amid the dating throng, it’s human to feel tempted to lie a little to reduce our chances of being rejected.
When we accept distressing emotions as being a natural part of life, it’s ironically linked to experiencing them less and, in the long run, having better emotional health.
It's common to shift from wanting to speed up the clock to wishing it would slow down, and that’s understandable. Prevailing perspectives on aging are often unflattering.
It makes sense that we determine whether we’re "normal" by taking our cues from others. At the same time, there are a few reasons why we might want to do this judiciously.
Amid back-and-forth exchanges with a partner, relatives, friends, and colleagues, the window of opportunity to communicate in a clearer way is shrouded in obscurity at times.
What about giving someone a leg up in the good times? It’s natural to forget the importance of these moments, and yet they’re every bit as valuable in a relationship.
It’s not a piece of cake to manage powerful feelings without giving into them or shutting down, and the task of becoming a joined “we” while holding onto each “I” can be hazy.
How can interracial couples bolster one another and their bond from within as they encounter resistance and unjust treatment from without?
Sometimes what we think our partner wants and needs doesn’t map onto what they actually want or need. So how can we offer help that’s actually, well, helpful?
The notion of giving ourselves permission to walk through a pretend world for a while may seem a bit frivolous or fruitless. Why read stories when there’s so much to do?
Believe it or not, no matter how long two people have been together, there’s always room for a deeper connection, for more exploration, learning, and growth they can share.
So let’s say you’re willing to try showing yourself a little more self-compassion. How might you start?
If you’ve ever fallen for someone, you’ve probably confronted a basic human dilemma: self-exposure versus self-protection.
And that is where the cruel irony of this game comes in. Even as blaming offers a shield with one hand, it ultimately wounds with the other.
Conflict isn’t fun or delightful. It runs the gamut from mildly annoying to immensely distressing, and it can damage relationships. But is it intrinsically harmful?
How can we boost our chances of looking back on 2018 with a gratified smile, as we realize that we made our resolutions work for us for a change and actually feel successful?
So what if, instead of relishing what we appreciate, we mentally erase the past and imagine our good fortunes had never happened?
People can place enormous pressure on themselves when it comes to sex and orgasms. It’s easy for the Big O to become a Big Pain when climaxing turns into a must-have goal.
If a few hours of sleep need to be sacrificed here and there to get things done and be productive, it’s worth it, right? Wrong.
Generally speaking, the practice of lying to a romantic partner to promote the relationship, spare feelings, and ease personal discomfort commonly occurs. But does it work?
On the face of things, doesn’t it just seem like the answer to disagreeable feelings is to run for cover in our bat cave, where they can’t pester us anymore?
But heuristic processing can also sidetrack us, leading us to spend money in ways we probably wouldn’t if we were taking in the situation a little more mindfully.
When we understand some of the most effective marketing techniques, it’s easier to resist them, but knowledge alone isn’t enough to shield us from their persuasive power.
Thanks to diligent research, marketers know how to pull our strings while we don’t have a clue it’s happening.
Holly Parker, Ph.D. is a lecturer at Harvard University and a practicing psychologist and Associate Director of Training at the Edith Nourse Rogers Memorial Veterans Hospital.