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There's a lot to be said for the power of positive thinking. Believing in yourself and looking on the bright side can help you get through some of life's toughest challenges. But being too optimistic is harmful, and can actually rob you of mental strength.
Someone launching a new endeavor might say, "I know I'm going to make it big," or an individual starting a new job might think, "This is so easy I don't even need any training." That way of thinking can be a big problem.
The Perils of Being Overly Optimistic
As a therapist, it's easier to help people replace their negative thoughts with healthier statements. Negative thoughts cause them to feel bad, and so they want to feel better. But overly optimistic thoughts make people feel good, and they don't want anyone to rain on their parade. So they're more resistant to hearing any logic that might imply that things aren't as rosy as they think.
Here are three types of optimistic thoughts that do more harm than good:
1. Exaggerating the positive.
Thoughts like, "I love everything about this new person I'm dating," or, "Everyone loved everything about my speech," could cause you to overlook reality. People who see themselves as perfect don't strive to improve. And people who only look for the good in others tend to excuse major character flaws or get themselves wrapped up in toxic situations.
2. Being overconfident in one's abilities.
Although we often talk about the importance of high self-esteem, overconfidence can be just as harmful. Thinking you're already skilled enough could leave you ill-prepared. You might not study for a test, or you may opt out of practice, because you're convinced that you're already perfect.
3. Overestimating your chances of success.
Whether you're convinced that your business can't fail, or you're sure your new investment will give you a gigantic return, you might overlook the risks you face. If you don't spend any time thinking about what could go wrong, you won't be able to prevent it from happening.
Mental Strength Stems from Realistic Thinking
As a mental-strength trainer and an author of books on mental strength, people often assume I'm a proponent of positive thinking — the more positive the better. But that's not accurate. Your thoughts should stem from rational thinking. And you can still keep an optimistic spin on your realistic thoughts.
Developing comfort with the truth will help you build mental muscle. And when you're mentally stronger, you won't need to mask your pain with unrealistic affirmations or exaggerated platitudes.
So instead of thinking, "I'm going to ace this test," a mentally strong person thinks, "I'm going to do my best." They experience a sense of inner calm, because they're confident they'll be okay no matter the outcome. That's not to say that they're passive individuals who sit by and idly let life happen to them; they take serious action to reach their greatest potential. But they are comfortable enough in their own skin to acknowledge their limitations, weaknesses, and failures.
The good news is, everyone can train their brain to think differently. With practice, you can develop a healthy outlook that will help you build mental muscle.
