Understanding the Erotic Code

Sexual Orientation

Zombie Therapies and Homosexuality

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on September 4, 2024

Conversion therapy by itself or any other name is unscientific and dangerous. Years of solid research prove its wrongheadedness.

Conversion therapy by itself or any other name is unscientific and dangerous. Years of solid research prove its wrongheadedness.

Sexual Orientation

When Your Child Comes Out as LGBTQ

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on July 16, 2024

Have you thought of what you would say if your child came out to you as LGBTQ? This is a question I often ask parents.

Have you thought of what you would say if your child came out to you as LGBTQ? This is a question I often ask parents.

Media

Harrison Butker and Cancel Culture

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on May 23, 2024

Personal Perspective: We are better off hearing Butker's remarks, as off-putting as they might be, than not. Not knowing what is being said can leave us vulnerable.

Personal Perspective: We are better off hearing Butker's remarks, as off-putting as they might be, than not. Not knowing what is being said can leave us vulnerable.

Body Image

Unhung Heroes: Overcoming Small-Penis Shame

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on January 16, 2024

The idea that the size of a man’s penis indicates the extent of his masculinity is false. It’s man-shaming and reinforces toxic masculinity.

The idea that the size of a man’s penis indicates the extent of his masculinity is false. It’s man-shaming and reinforces toxic masculinity.

Therapy

Sometimes Therapy Is Not About Making You Feel Better

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on December 28, 2023

Therapy is not just telling your secrets to a compassionate listener.

Therapy is not just telling your secrets to a compassionate listener.

Marriage

Have You Negotiated Your Monogamy?

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on September 26, 2023

When I ask couples who are monogamous if they have negotiated their monogamy, they look at me with confusion. They think that question should only be for couples who are open.

When I ask couples who are monogamous if they have negotiated their monogamy, they look at me with confusion. They think that question should only be for couples who are open.

Grief

Grieving Tina Turner’s Passing

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on May 30, 2023

Disenfranchised grief is a deeply felt loss over someone or something not immediately relatable to others who minimize and downplay it.

Disenfranchised grief is a deeply felt loss over someone or something not immediately relatable to others who minimize and downplay it.

Sex

Silence of the Trans

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on April 20, 2023

It is a myth that LGBTQ people—especially drag queens, trans women, bisexuals, and gay men—are oversexed and unable to control their sexual impulses, especially around children.

It is a myth that LGBTQ people—especially drag queens, trans women, bisexuals, and gay men—are oversexed and unable to control their sexual impulses, especially around children.

Trauma

The Backlash Against All Things LGBTQ

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on March 11, 2023

Don’t make your identity around victimhood or allow yourself to be around it. Stand for your agency.

Don’t make your identity around victimhood or allow yourself to be around it. Stand for your agency.

Sex

The Important Intersection of Mental and Sexual Health

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on September 5, 2022

Many therapists are not trained in sexual health and are thus ill-equipped to help clients navigate their erotic and sexual selves. Here's how to change that.

Many therapists are not trained in sexual health and are thus ill-equipped to help clients navigate their erotic and sexual selves. Here's how to change that.

Sex

Gay "Sides": How Language Frees Us to be Ourselves

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on May 16, 2022

The gay male dating app, Grindr, recently added a sexual preference beyond "top," "bottom," and "vers." Here's what the new term "side" means.

The gay male dating app, Grindr, recently added a sexual preference beyond "top," "bottom," and "vers." Here's what the new term "side" means.

Pornography

The Problem With Celebrity Worship

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on March 7, 2022

The word “reality” becomes corrupted in our perception by simply labeling something, such as “reality shows,” or calling something “fake news.”

The word “reality” becomes corrupted in our perception by simply labeling something, such as “reality shows,” or calling something “fake news.”

Embarrassment

Taking the Pressure Off Valentine’s Day for Both Couples and Singles

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on February 14, 2022

For singles, Valentine's Day can feel like singles awareness day. Couples can feel pressured to deliver a gesture of love that tops them all.

For singles, Valentine's Day can feel like singles awareness day. Couples can feel pressured to deliver a gesture of love that tops them all.

Trauma

Community Support Is Crucial After School Shootings

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on December 1, 2021

Fear doesn't belong in schools. Immediate response is imperative to reduce young people's trauma responses.

Fear doesn't belong in schools. Immediate response is imperative to reduce young people's trauma responses.

Sex

Mixed-Orientation Couples Include Ace-Allo Couples

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on October 18, 2021

It might not be a low sex drive—it might just be you are asexual.

It might not be a low sex drive—it might just be you are asexual.

Relationships

Going from Boy to Man with Your Father

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on June 20, 2021

On Father’s Day, not everyone celebrates. There are men who were not fathered or have strained relationships with their dad.

On Father’s Day, not everyone celebrates. There are men who were not fathered or have strained relationships with their dad.

Narcissism

Are You a Narcissist or Narcissistically Defended?

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on May 10, 2021

Those who are narcissistically defended often are raised by a narcissist and worry that they are one too.

Those who are narcissistically defended often are raised by a narcissist and worry that they are one too.

Sex

Why Do Some People Think They Are Straight Until They Come Out?

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on April 19, 2021

If you’re heterosexual in this world, you are holding the golden ticket because everything is geared toward you.

If you’re heterosexual in this world, you are holding the golden ticket because everything is geared toward you.

Sexual Abuse

Why It's So Hard to Recognize Maternal Sexual Abuse

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on March 24, 2021

The idea that a woman could be a sexual abuser of her own child is hard for people to accept, but it happens more often than most of us realize.

The idea that a woman could be a sexual abuser of her own child is hard for people to accept, but it happens more often than most of us realize.

Sex

Are Closeted Folks Fair Game Now?

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on March 19, 2021

While acceptance of us LGBTQ folks has risen, I’ve been surprised at how people who are perceived to be "closeted gays" are being attacked.

While acceptance of us LGBTQ folks has risen, I’ve been surprised at how people who are perceived to be "closeted gays" are being attacked.