Relationships
5 Strong Predictors of a Healthy Relationship
5. Giving each other space whenever it's needed.
Updated March 16, 2024 Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer Ph.D.
Key points
- Chemistry without authentic compatibility can result in an unfulfilling relationship.
- When each person is allowed their own space, it gives them a chance to become better versions of themselves.
- Healthy communication in a relationship lets you and your partner understannd what you need from each other.
Because everyone has different emotional and relational needs, what a person labels as a healthy relationship may change from one partner to the next or throughout their life as they develop more emotional intelligence and a deeper dive into their personal growth. However, most people can agree that healthy relationships are those that allow each partner to be autonomous while also providing a sense of interdependence with their partner.
Relationships that allow for compromise, respect for each other, and a space in which each person feels they can consistently turn to their partner as someone who is reliable and predictable, tend to be the healthiest and happiest relationships.
Here are five additional predictors of a healthy and satisfying connection with your partner.
1. Validation
It is important to recognize that validating a person does not mean that you necessarily have to agree with them, but that you respect and acknowledge their needs, feelings, and unique perspectives. Validation involves both an empathetic understanding of the other person’s experiences and an ability to listen and respond without judgment. If a person grew up in conditions where they did not feel seen or heard, these are red flags of caregiver invalidation, which according to research, is a significant indicator in the development of mental health issues later in life1.
Environments that are seen as less supportive are correlated with poorer mental health outcomes, as well as an increased risk for depression and anxiety, physical health issues, and correlations associated with greater social stress3. However, validating environments are those that create a sense of feeling wanted, understood, appreciated, and valued. It is through feeling appreciated and understood that a deeper connection can happen within a romantic relationship. Offering validation helps a couple deepen their connection through active listening and non-judgmental acceptance.
2. Healthy Communication
Open and authentic communication is foundational for every healthy and fulfilling relationship, but may be most significant when trying to understand your partner’s lived experiences, vulnerabilities, or feelings. Healthy communication in a relationship lets your partner know what you need from them, but also lets you understand your partner’s needs. When a couple has good communication skills, there is a healthy balance of each person speaking and listening, as well as understanding the nuances of how body language and nonverbal communication come into play within your relationship.
3. Genuine Compatibility
Compatibility is based on shared values, interests, desires, life goals, educational aspirations, outlook on life, and even overall intelligence. For example, a recent study notes that people tend to mentally track the similarities and differences between themselves and a potential partner to see whether they are high in compatibility and whether the relationship could be sustainable2.
Compatibility should not be confused with chemistry, which is often fleeting and based on initial attraction to a person. Chemistry without authentic compatibility can result in an unfulfilling or shallow relationship where you feel unsatisfied. However, when compatibility is present, it enhances chemistry and often leads to a highly fulfilling and intimate connection between you and your partner.
4. Sense of Safety
Safety needs are basic human needs that everyone has. They include feeling emotionally safe, psychologically safe, that your relationship is stable and predictable, and that your partner is consistent and reliable. These basic needs should be taught early in your life. If these needs are missing or incomplete, it can interfere with your overall level of comfort in your relationships. However, when you feel secure and safe in your relationship, it helps promote openness and vulnerability between you and your partner, which can lead to an overall sense of mental and physical well-being.
5. Personal Space
Personal space is important for all relationships, but perhaps most important when it comes to your most intimate relationships because it allows you to evolve as your own person, without expectations or pressure. When each person is allowed their own space without judgment or ultimatums, it gives them a chance to address their own goals, and to become better versions of themselves. When each partner is allowed room to grow without fearing that their partner is going to leave, it can help build a stronger relationship based on shared growth.
Cultivating Connection
Healthy relationships have their fair share of challenges and are not without problems. Yet, when a relationship is healthy, it allows for a balance between independence and interdependence, where both partners are allowed room to grow individually, which fosters their connection as a couple.
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References
Linehan, M. M. (1997). Validation and psychotherapy. In A. C. Bohart & L. S. Greenberg (Eds.), Empathy reconsidered: New directions in psychotherapy (pp. 353–392). American Psychological Association.
Thao, H., et al. (2022. Relationship match: The neural underpinnings of social feedback in romantic couples. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 17(5), 493-502.
Zielinski, M.J., et al. (2022). Perceived emotion invalidation predicts daily affect and stressors. Anxiety, Stress & Coping, 36(2), 214-228