A Gestalt Therapy View of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome

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There is a new pop psychology term on the internet called “narcissistic victim syndrome.” This is the idea that we should have a special diagnosis called narcissistic victim syndrome (NVS) for clients who believe that they were psychologically damaged by their relationship with an abusive narcissist.

However, when I did an internet search, I found that this concept has not been researched or validated and is mainly being used by non-mental health professionals who claim to successfully treat it.

I have addressed my concerns about NVS in my previous post, “Why Isn’t Narcissistic Victim Syndrome a Real Diagnosis?” (January 11, 2024).

In this post, I will be looking at the concept of narcissistic victim syndrome through the lens of Gestalt therapy.

What is Gestalt therapy?

Gestalt therapy is a present-centered, lively psychotherapeutic approach that was developed in the 1950s by Frederick S. Perls (1893-1970) and his wife Laura Perls (1905-1990), two former psychoanalysts who fled Germany during WWII. Fritz and Laura Perls sought to create a new type of psychotherapy that did not depend on Sigmund Freud’s theories or psychoanalytic methods.

Gestalt therapy focuses on seeing the client as a whole person with a body and not just a mind. Rather than focus on the unconscious, it is designed to foster self-awareness, explore the impact of the present moment on the individual, and develop spontaneous experiments to increase insight.

Gestalt therapy bloomed in the 1960s and 1970s because it was in tune with the times in its emphasis on self-awareness, individuality, spontaneity, and authenticity. It attracted many followers and other talented psychotherapists who have contributed to its development and continued success today (Gaines, 1979).

Gestalt psychology

Gestalt therapy was also influenced by some of the insights of the Gestalt psychology research that emerged in Germany before and during WWII. Gestalt psychologists investigated human perceptions and sought to understand and specify the underlying brain-based rules by which humans perceive things as wholes (Henle, 1961).

Many readers will be familiar with the basic Gestalt Psychology principle that “the whole is greater (or different) from the sum of its parts.”

Although both Gestalt therapy and Gestalt psychology share the name Gestalt, they are largely independent of each other, except for the debt that Gestalt therapy theory owes to Gestalt psychology.

Field theory

From a Gestalt therapy point of view, we cannot understand an event apart from the conditions (the field) that gave rise to it (Perls, Hefferline, and Goodman, 1951). This is a bit like saying that to fully understand a specific plant, we also have to understand the characteristics of the field in which it is growing.

• Is that field rich in nutrients?
• Is there enough water, air, and light for it to allow this plant to reach its full potential?
• Were there predators or weather in that field that damaged it or supported its growth?
• What factors are influencing the plant now?

How does this apply to narcissistic victim syndrome (NVS)?

If we want to understand interpersonal events and their result, we have to look at all the factors directly affecting the outcome of the event, including the individuals involved.

Some people want to use the concept of narcissistic victim syndrome to explain the psychological damage a person sustained after being in an intimate relationship with someone who they believe has narcissistic personality disorder. However, NVS does not take into consideration any of the specific characteristics of the interpersonal and historical field that gave rise to the injured person’s suffering. It only focuses on two factors, both of which are questionable:

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1. That the abuser qualifies for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. (And we know this how?)
2. That it is useful to describe the suffering partner as a victim.

What other relevant field factors are being ignored?

1. What made these two people choose to form a romantic relationship?
2. Did they enter the relationship with realistic expectations of each other?
3. Did they both have the necessary skills to form a mutually satisfying long-term relationship?
4. What type of relationship struggles did this couple have?
5. Why did they stay with each other?

The contact boundary and the self

Gestalt therapy also introduced the concept of the contact boundary—the place where self and other meet. The concept of the contact boundary implies that who we are, and how we act in an interaction, is influenced by both people.

From this point of view, the healthy self is not fixed and limited. It is multifaceted and fluid, and changes in response to whomever and whatever we are interacting with at the contact boundary. In Gestalt therapy terms, the self is a process (Perls, Hefferline, and Goodman, 1951).

Some Gestalt therapy theorists, such as Peter Philippson, one of the founders of the Manchester Gestalt Therapy Institute in the U.K., take an even more radical position that our self is actually created through the interaction with the other at the contact boundary (2012).

Gestalt therapy and diagnosis

From a Gestalt therapy point of view, even the idea of diagnosis is somewhat controversial because diagnoses are seen as pathologizing and imply a fixed situation. That is why I often refer to personality disorders as personality adaptations. The use of the term adaptation recognizes that at an earlier time in the person’s life, his or her particular adaptation was useful—even if it is now a serious impediment to future growth (Greenberg, 2016).

Summary

Gestalt therapy attempts to see each client as a unique and evolving individual. This is the opposite of attributing the relationship issues and their psychological aftermath as entirely due to someone else’s influence. From this point of view, the concept of narcissistic victim syndrome is a hindrance to understanding the client’s issues because it is too narrowly focused. By ignoring other relevant factors, it creates another barrier to understanding the true complexity and uniqueness of every client’s experience.

Expanded from a Quora post.

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