Why "Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story" Matters

Source: Shutterstock/ Kathy Hutchins

Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story, created by Ryan Murphy and Ian Brennan is the second season in the Monster anthology on Netflix—a retelling of the story of Erik (Cooper Koch) and Lyle Menendez (Nicholas Alexander Chavez), who killed their parents José (Javier Bardem) and Kitty Menendez (Chloë Sevigny), in their Beverly Hills home, in 1989.

The series chronicles the harrowing abuse Erik and Lyle were subjected to at the hands of their father, José, and mother, Kitty, leading up to the brutal murder, following their trials and their ultimate conviction in 1996.

Controversies, Myths, and Blind Spots of Childhood Abuse

Despite overwhelming evidence of the severe, prolonged abuse the Menendez brothers had endured, their suffering was considered irrelevant, their trauma disregarded, and their perpetrators were absolved.

Although the Menendez brothers were 18 and 21 at the time of the crime, their maturity, decision-making ability, and impulse control were likely much younger due to their history of abuse and trauma. Abused children often experience developmental delays and struggle to meet key milestones, leading to underdeveloped emotional capacity, cognitive processing, and even physical growth. In the face of abuse, sources of love become sources of fear, leaving the child with a deeply flawed sense of self and often trapping them in a vicious cycle of trauma.

Driven by a deep need for parental love and affection, children may latch on to behaviors that cause them pain, misinterpreted as tenderness or protection. As a result, they may grow up to accept and tolerate mistreatment that others would recognize as unacceptable.

Critics have questioned why the brothers didn’t disclose the abuse earlier, which amounts to victim blaming and dismisses the profound impact of internalized shame that prevents many survivors from speaking out. Abuse is often a series of events occurring in isolation and secrecy, leaving children at the mercy of their caregivers. Perpetrators often use grooming, emotional manipulation, coercion, or threats to control their victims. In many cases, abused children are convinced that no one will come to their rescue and learn not to fight their abusers, a phenomenon known as learned helplessness.

Studies have shown that the closer the perpetrator is to the victim, the less likely the victim is to disclose the abuse. This also increases the chances of disregarding warning signs, dismissing attempted disclosures, or reacting negatively to them.

Children who are hurt by their caregivers may feel torn between trying to love their abusers and fearing them. Especially when praise and affection are intertwined with exploitation and abuse, children are more likely to feel overwhelmed by confusion, guilt, and self-blame.

The series sheds light on an important blind spot around abuse that occurs in wealthy families ranking higher in the social food chain. Many family members testified to a multitude of red flags, including: bed-wetting, stunted affect, difficulty controlling emotions, poor concentration, precarious sexualized behavior, and discomfort with physical displays of affection. At the time of the abuse, no one came forward to protect the children. This highlights the sad truth that abuse in families of status and power may be ignored, as speaking up might feel intimidating or simply not profitable.

It is common for abuse victims to repeat the cycle of abuse, make inaccurate judgments, and gravitate toward people who will further exploit, betray and victimize them. We see this in the series when Dr. Oziel violates patient-clinician behavior. Rather than following ethical conduct, advocating for his patients and taking appropriate measures to ensure their safety, Dr. Oziel coerces, blackmails, and manipulates the brothers using the tragedy for his own financial gain.

The series approaches Lyle being preoccupied with his hairpiece while possibly facing a death sentence with mockery, undermining the truth of abuse in which victims are trained to work hard to maintain an outside appearance. It would make sense that Lyle would be concerned about his image, as keeping the façade was a learned survival mechanism.

A reoccurring question raised in the series is whether the brothers are sociopaths who murdered their parents for money or whether they are victims who murdered their parents out of self-defense. From a trauma perspective, this questioning is problematic, as these two stances are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Children who were subjected to violence learn to turn themselves off as a survival mechanism and may not develop the capacity for compassion or empathy.

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If it was one of the brothers who had committed such a horrendous crime, there could be more room for alternative theories. Because the brothers acted in unison, it is likely that a horrendous act to this degree stemmed from a series of horrendous preceding events.

It is undeniable that chronic childhood abuse can result in horrific reactions to danger. Dismissing and discrediting the impact of childhood torment, when the victim retaliates in violent ways only perpetuates harmful stereotypes, reinforces silence, and absolves the perpetrators.

Stigmas Faced by Male Sexual Abuse Survivors

Data from the National Sexual Assault Hotline indicates that a majority of victims who have previously disclosed abuse reported receiving negative reactions. Painting male survivors as either aggressors or complicit with their abuse invalidates and retraumatizes survivors, and disregards the complexity of male victimhood.

Research indicates male sexual abuse survivors are more prone to have higher levels of shame, self-blame, and questioning their sexual identity (Poirson et al., 2023). They have a higher likelihood of reluctance to disclose their story or seek out help due to fears of judgment, stigma, and discrimination.

Studies have indicated that only 8 percent of boys disclose abuse within the year of the abuse (Lahtinen, Laitila, Korkman & Ellonen, 2018). Children are more likely to disclose at the time it is happening, and more likely to disclose it to other peers, rather than to an adult. Lyle Menendez disclosed the abuse to his aunt at the time it was happening, while Erik confided in his younger cousin.

Trauma-Informed Systemic Change

Male sexual assault is severely underreported as the victims fear that their sexual orientation might be questioned, or they might be perceived as less of a man after the disclosure. Many men don’t report out of fear of being labeled as weak for not being able to fight their predator. McElvaney’s 2013 review of disclosure studies showed that a large number of adults who were victims of childhood sexual abuse had never disclosed their experiences.

Gender codes permit the role of victimhood to females, which makes it more socially acceptable for women to name abuse and, therefore, more likely to disclose it. However, many abused men themselves may not label the acts of violence against them as abuse. To break the stigma and minimization of male sexual abuse, we have to deconstruct traditional gender stereotypes.

A trauma-informed approach begins with believing survivors, but it goes beyond simply acknowledging their experiences. It involves creating a safe space where victims can share their stories without fear of prejudice or discrimination. To truly support survivors, systematic changes in the mental health and the justice systems are necessary. This includes revisiting policies and regulations that fail survivors and perpetuate the cycle of abuse and condone silence.

As a society, we must prioritize interventions that promote healing and prevention, rather than sensationalizing abuse, which only further exploits and victimizes survivors.

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