Career
What to Do Before Talking to a Boss About Your Mental Health
When you're tired, stressed, and would rather not be at work.
Posted May 30, 2024 Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
Key points
- It is essential to understand your own mental health needs before approaching your supervisor at work
- Familiarize yourself with available workplace resources and understand your rights as an employee.
- Pay attention to your workplace culture and communicate your mental health needs clearly.
Mental health, like physical health, exists on a spectrum. Most people experience various levels of anxiety, stress, burnout, and depression depending on the circumstances of their lives. Yet some mental health struggles are easier to discuss openly than others—for example, conversations about burnout tend to be more socially acceptable than those about suicide loss.
When considering whether to talk to your boss about a mental-health concern, first and foremost, it is important to understand your own needs and assess if the life events you are dealing with are interfering with your ability to complete your everyday responsibilities at work. Evaluating the strategies you have tried to reduce the impact of your current problems on your performance will allow for brainstorming other options you might have.
Awareness-building practices such as mindfulness meditation—whether guided through an online app or using a creative writing workbook that also includes breathing exercises and grounding strategies—can aid self-exploration and recognizing patterns (Balan, 2023). Additionally, attention to your diet, including healthy meal choices, minimizing substance use, and getting adequate sleep will help with emotion regulation and improve overall health.
Asking for Help
We are not designed to face life entirely on our own and rely on each other for mental and physical well-being, If you are dealing with a stressful life event that interferes with your day-to-day ability (e.g. divorce) reaching out to your loved ones or to a trusted colleague for support and guidance will reduce the feeling of isolation.
If stress, sadness, anxiety, or other symptoms are not improving, or are persisting or worsening, consider reaching out to a professional mental health provider. A therapist will be able to assess, diagnose, and treat your symptoms, monitor your progress, as well as communicate any additional support you might need. Connecting with a clinician can be done privately, through your insurance provider, as well as through mental health offerings by your organization.
Know Your Rights
Pay close attention to your workplace culture, how leadership discusses mental health issues, and if there is an atmosphere of support and understanding. If, for example, your company celebrates mental health awareness events, or provides education to managers about communicating and reducing stigma, you will likely have a more pleasant experience (Lu et al., 2022).
Regardless, each business exists for very specific reasons—for profit or not, there is a set of deliverables that must be met. Discussing your own mental health concerns with your boss will be in the context of the laws they must follow, as well as the needs of the organization. Your personal needs are of tertiary concern.
Depending on the size and type of company you work for, federal protections, including the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA), prevent discrimination due to mental illness, and mandate the protection of your position if you need time off.
Explore what wellness tools your company offers; there may be an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), coaching, childcare options, resources for retreats, and self-care apps. Take time to familiarize yourself with existing policies and procedures that human resources must abide by, and potential options you may have for reasonable accommodations.
Communicate Clearly
After reflecting on your mental health needs, and how they are impacting your work, it’s time to decide what you feel comfortable sharing with your boss. You are not required to share anything you do not want to. It is critical to prioritize your own comfort, well-being, and privacy.
Consider role-playing, or rehearsing what and how you will express yourself and advocate for yourself. Tailor the information so that your boss can clearly understand your situation and direct you to appropriate resources.
If you are working with a clinician, consider speaking with them for guidance based on your needs, as well as a note that outlines recommended workplace accommodations. Your needs may include flexible hours, or meeting schedules to allow for appointments, hybrid work environments to reduce noise or other interruptions, being assigned to another department, or extra time to complete a project.
Be specific about what accommodations you will need, how long they will be necessary, and what they will accomplish.
Document Everything
Keep a record of who you spoke with in your organization, as well as emails and other communications. The purpose is to help you track your progress, what you have tried, and barriers you encountered, as well as successes. Your inherent value to an organization is greater when you are efficient, productive, and competent. It costs systems more to deal with allegations, discriminatory lawsuits, terminating an employee, recruiting, and retraining someone else to replace them.
When business, economic, and employee incentives are aligned, your best efforts to communicate your needs, and the organization’s accommodating response, will likely productively match up (Bondar et al. 2022).
As an informed participant, advocating for yourself, you will experience the support you have earned as an employee, a sense of calm and control at work, while you take care for your mental health needs.
To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
References
Balan, D (2023). Re-Write: A Trauma Workbook of Creative Writing and Recovery in Our New Normal. Routledge.
Bondar J, Babich Morrow C, Gueorguieva R, et al. Clinical and Financial Outcomes Associated With a Workplace Mental Health Program Before and During the COVID-19 Pandemic. JAMA Netw Open. 2022; 5(6):e2216349.
Khalid, A, Syed, J. Mental health and well-being at work: A systematic review of literature and directions for future research. Human Resource Management Review. 2024; 34 (1), 100998.
Lu X, Yu H, Shan B. Relationship between Employee Mental Health and Job Performance: Mediation Role of Innovative Behavior and Work Engagement. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2022; 19(11):6599.