The Yuckness of Stuckness

Source: Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

I hate being stuck. Don't you? When we are fully captured by the contents of our minds, can't solve a problem, or emotions won't release, we don't feel well. We might yearn for that more integrated place that we sometimes stumble upon, when our minds are flowing along with our bodies. But sometimes the mind takes over, and sometimes the body holds our tensions, and we suffer a bit.

When people talk about flow states, this is what I believe is the opposite of stuck. In this place, we are integrated, balanced, and flowing along. Nothing trips us up. Our minds are involved but not running the show, and there is space between our thoughts. Our bodies are loose and balanced. This is lovely.

How to Get Unstuck

So, I'm here to suggest a few ways to get out of the yuckness of stuckness:

1. Identify what's gumming up the works. Are you holding tension in your jaw? Is your head hurting? Or are you stuck in your head ruminating on a problem or recent worry? And, are there companion emotions to these symptoms? Visit into your body and mind to get a lay of the land. Where does it hurt?
2. Become aware. As Pema Chodron often says, "stay." Stay there a while, with what's bothering you, with what's uncomfortable. With compassion for yourself. This part is important — the gentleness of your attention to what's not feeling well. This opens you up to finding flow.
3. Find flow. Here's the part where you get going again. From this place of paying gentle attention, let the feeling, or the problem occupying your mind, or the physical symptom tell you what you need. Perhaps you need to release some emotion or go for a run (P.S. physical movement is helpful!). Perhaps you're pushing too hard, and you can sense you need to release the grip your jaw has on your life's problems. The cool thing here is this: The attention to the symptom allows it to start self-correcting. Here's an example: Have you ever noticed if you just checked in with your shoulders, they might loosen back down from their shrugged position? If I told you to check in with your jaw, it would likely un-clench on its own. If you were to quit noodling on that problem and get out of your head, an idea might just pop up.

I'm not saying there's any magic here. But what I am saying is that awareness has wisdom in it. Awareness is the presence that holds all of our experiences. And it's a great way to get flowing again when we're stuck. It's about tuning it, not pushing. It's about surrendering to the ebb, so you can flow again. This often requires us to feel our lives a bit more. To lean in, to feel through, to find flow.