Skip to main content

Verified by Psychology Today

Relationships

The Girls Don't Like Me

I'm unlucky in love

Dear Dr. G.,

I am a 17 year old high school boy. I've been really upset lately. I think that the girls just don't like me. I don't understand why. My friends seem to have all the luck with the girls. I am so nice to the girls. I respect them. I compliment them constantly and I am always available to talk to them when they are having problems. I am upset and I would like to see if you can help me. Please.

A Reject

Dear High School Senior,

First, I am so pleased that you wrote to me. Second, please stop referring to yourself as a reject immediately. This does no one any good.

I have questions and suggestions for you. Is it possible that the teen girls see you as a friend rather than as a romantic interest since you so generously help them with their problems? Also, perhaps they see you in the therapist role. If so, try to take yourself out of this role. Although, it is lovely that you are emotionally generous and have empathy you do not want to be identified as the therapist to the teen girls, right?

Since I have not met you I am not sure what is going on with the girls. I do have a great suggestion though. Ask one or two of your best female friends why they think that you may be unlucky in love. Tell them that you don't want a sugar-coated answer. They may have insights that had not occurred to you.

Also, is it possible that you are so nice to all of the girls that no one feels especially singled out by you? This is just speculation. Talk to your closest friends and then get back to me so we can work on this further.

Good Luck and be brave!

Dr. G.

For more articles like this please see my website:

http://drbarbaragreenberg.com/blog/

advertisement
More from Barbara Greenberg Ph.D.
More from Psychology Today