The Puzzle of Love

At the heart of it

Stan Tatkin Psy.D.

Stress in a House Divided: As in Our Country, So at Home

When spouses are split because of one partner’s support for Trump, they have to decide if it is in fact a deal breaker. And it well may be.

Gaslighting in 2017

If we are repeatedly lied to in the political arena, there are consequences to our national emotional health.

The Potential for a Future Trauma of Epic Proportions

Disturbing sex tapes of the president elect could have a devastating impact on young viewers. The unverifiable status of such tapes is not reason to ignore the potential for harm.

Maintain Your Couple Bubble in the Stressful Holiday Season

You and your partner can have more fun at holiday parties if you use your couple bubble to magnify your joy and guard against stressful intrusions.

Election Stress Disorder

Americans are suffering emotionally due to the caustic nature of the election, and our brains offer both the explanation and the solution.

Saying Goodbye to Barack and Michelle

A psychobiological analysis of an excerpt from an interview with Barack and Michelle Obama suggests the secure-functioning nature of their relationship.

Three Lenses Through Which We View Marriage

David Brooks has the right idea when it comes to seeing marriage through a moral lens; taken a step further, this can help us create more lasting, secure-functioning relationships.

To Stay in Love… Do This

You need to know how to make each other feel secure if you want your love to last.

To Cuff or to Tether

Some think of fall and winter as “cuffing season,” but tethering with a partner is much more likely than cuffing to lead to a happy, long-lasting, secure-functioning relationship.

The Anxieties of Dating

Research shows that an insecure attachment style can make people more likely to stalk a date, and suggests how to help young people avoid getting snared in an unproductive cycle.

The Golden Rule in Love Relationships

Practicing the Golden Rule can transform a relationship. Couples who treat each other as they would like to be treated create a bedrock of security that will serve them well.

Life is Short… and so Could Be Your Marriage

There is no such thing as “safe” infidelity. Couples who want to stay together need to appreciate the importance of establishing safety and security within their relationship.

How Securely Do You Stand in Your Relationship?

Research showing that people in physically unstable positions are more likely to feel insecure in their relationships suggests that partners should pay attention to these kinds of influences.

Safeguarding Against Infidelity

Research reporting that financially dependency increases a man’s chances of cheating on his wife may fail to take into account the mitigating factor of secure functioning.

Why a Wife Bonus Won’t Buy You Security

A new book explores the culture of the wealthy who use wife bonuses. Money aside, this may do more to undermine than to support a successful relationship.

Healing Corporate Couples

A corporate couple are two people who put their relationship above all others. A psychobiological approach can help these couples in many of the same ways it helps those in romantic relationships.

The Freedom to Enjoy Secure Functioning

Psychological principles underlie the current political debate over same-sex unions. Like all couples, same-sex couples have a better chance to thrive in an environment that supports their ability to form a secure-functioning relationship.