The Problem With Tradition

Traditions can be comforting—a sentimental way to reconnect with family and friends. They ground us, evoke nostalgia, and sometimes even perplex us. Traditions shape the culture we create, our personal histories, and our very sense of self, all of which contribute to our psychological well-being.

Most people we know have some tradition tied to the holiday season—maybe you do, too.

For instance, every year after Christmas dinner, Ed and his family eat canned peaches and read Dylan Thomas' A Child's Christmas in Wales. The peaches honor one of his wife’s ancestors, a cavalryman during the Indian Wars, who spent his Christmas money on peaches instead of booze and shared them with his bunkmate. It’s a cozy, heartfelt tradition that has endured for decades.

Tara’s grandmother hosted legendary Christmas Eve parties, baking for weeks to prepare enough Eastern European delicacies to feed an army. This year, Tara decided to re-create that celebration on Christmas Day. Filling her home with happy, well-fed friends and family reminded her of those cherished childhood gatherings and the joy of being surrounded by loved ones.

We love the annual eating of peaches and the gatherings of family and friends. Yet, we also have reservations about traditions in general—because traditions are social constructs.

Without the social agreement that “this is what we all do,” traditions can seem downright odd. For example, without the cultural backdrop of Halloween, trick-or-treating would look like children in costumes making bizarre demands for candy. Layer on the shared agreement that “This is how we celebrate Halloween,” and suddenly, it makes perfect sense.

Traditions often reflect religious or cultural customs, strengthening our connection to heritage and providing the continuity and connections we all crave. In fact, psychologist Shalom Schwartz identifies tradition as a universal human value, one tied to the broader category of conservation values that also includes security and conformity.

But does tradition make us happier? The research is mixed.

For example, a Polish study found that valuing tradition increased well-being, while an Israeli study found the opposite. In India, researchers discovered that strict adherence to tradition reduced happiness by marginalizing personal desires and stifling opportunities for growth. Some research even suggests that societies overly committed to tradition struggle to adapt to change. In such cases, adherence to tradition can hinder progress and innovation by reinforcing the status quo.

We’re not surprised by these conflicting findings. Valuing tradition is linked to traits like religiosity, agreeableness, and conservatism, which themselves are associated with well-being. So, perhaps it’s not tradition per se that makes people happier, but these underlying traits.

Tradition often comes with a moral imperative: it’s not just what we do, it’s what we should do. This normative aspect can be both comforting and constraining. For instance, if you grew up with a Christmas tree in your home, you might feel compelled to continue the practice—even if the tree is expensive, messy, or irresistible to your cat.

Entire industries thrive on this compulsion. Consider the 300,000 acres of U.S. Christmas tree farms or the billions spent annually on holiday-related purchases. In many cases, the gift itself is less important than the message it conveys: care, thoughtfulness, and social status.

Tradition can also justify harmful practices. Around the world, customs like female genital mutilation, child marriage, and “honor” killings persist under the guise of tradition. Closer to home, we see traditions like hazing, racial segregation, and corporal punishment in schools.

Navigating the tension between tradition and change is often fraught with personal and social challenges. Philosopher Peter Singer explores this dilemma in his book Consider the Turkey, where he critiques the Thanksgiving feast. For some, compassion for the turkey conflicts with the desire to honor family traditions, creating psychological discomfort.

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So, what’s the solution?

We suggest two guiding principles: conscience and compassion.

1. Follow Your Conscience. Tradition should never force you into behaviors that feel wrong or uncomfortable. Just because something has “always” been done doesn’t mean it’s right or necessary. Listen to your instincts—they’re often trying to tell you something important.
2. Practice Compassion. Recognize that not everyone shares your values or perspectives. Be kind enough to let others enjoy their traditions, even if they don’t align with your own. After all, they may be overlooking your quirks, too. As we often say, don’t yuck someone else’s yum.

As we move into 2025, take time to reflect on your own traditions. Ditch the ones that no longer serve you, guilt-free, and create new ones that bring you joy. If you’re looking for inspiration, we’ve even found some research to help you get started.