The Polyamorists Next Door

Body Positivity

Fat and Sexy: How Body Positivity Is Smashing Fat Phobia

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on February 5, 2024

Tips for clinicians who want to provide culturally competent care for fat clients.

Tips for clinicians who want to provide culturally competent care for fat clients.

BDSM

The Truth About Breath Play and Choking During Sex

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on December 29, 2023

What is the difference between choking or strangulation and breath play? A few answers: legality, execution, and risk.

What is the difference between choking or strangulation and breath play? A few answers: legality, execution, and risk.

Sex

How Women Are Transforming "Public" Sex

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on December 4, 2023

While public sex is nothing new, the ways in which women are taking charge of their own public sexual interactions are transforming the public sexual landscape.

While public sex is nothing new, the ways in which women are taking charge of their own public sexual interactions are transforming the public sexual landscape.

Polyamory

Queer Families Need Planning for Loved Ones’ Deaths

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on October 14, 2023

Dealing with death can be tricky, but even more so for queer families whose relationships might not be legally recognized. Planning makes a huge difference.

Dealing with death can be tricky, but even more so for queer families whose relationships might not be legally recognized. Planning makes a huge difference.

Sex

Sex Positivity as an Antidote to Shame

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on August 31, 2023

Sex positivity can help to counter the impacts of shame.

Sex positivity can help to counter the impacts of shame.

Relationships

What's the Hierarchy in Multiple-Partner Relationships?

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on July 20, 2023

Hierarchy is hard to escape completely in consensual nonmonogamous relationships, as it pops up even if partners say it's not there.

Hierarchy is hard to escape completely in consensual nonmonogamous relationships, as it pops up even if partners say it's not there.

Polyamory

Consensual NonMonogamies and Pride

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on June 29, 2023

Some question if CNM qualifies as queer and should be included in Pride festivities, which could help with visibility, rights, and protection from discrimination.

Some question if CNM qualifies as queer and should be included in Pride festivities, which could help with visibility, rights, and protection from discrimination.

Marriage

What to Know About the World of Group Relationships

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on May 31, 2023

Some consensually nonmonogamous relationships, like polygamy, group marriage, polyamory, and relationship anarchy, focus on the group as the center of the relationship.

Some consensually nonmonogamous relationships, like polygamy, group marriage, polyamory, and relationship anarchy, focus on the group as the center of the relationship.

Polyamory

3 Ways That a Couple Can Be Polyamorous

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on April 27, 2023

Some consensually nonmonogamous relationships—swinging, monogamish, and hierarchical polyamory—center on a primary couple. That is great for some and offensive to others.

Some consensually nonmonogamous relationships—swinging, monogamish, and hierarchical polyamory—center on a primary couple. That is great for some and offensive to others.

Relationships

Consensual Nonmonogamies Focused on Individuals

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on March 9, 2023

Consensually nonmonogamous relationships take many forms and can be confusing. What are solo poly and relationship anarchy?

Consensually nonmonogamous relationships take many forms and can be confusing. What are solo poly and relationship anarchy?

Relationships

Skewed Views of Consensual NonMonogamies

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on February 20, 2023

Why do some people erroneously assume that all consensually nonmonogamous relationships are malfunctioning? This post explores several reasons for the common phenomenon.

Why do some people erroneously assume that all consensually nonmonogamous relationships are malfunctioning? This post explores several reasons for the common phenomenon.

Polyamory

Shared Carework in Polyamorous Families

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on February 2, 2023

How do people in polyamorous families share the work of caring for each other, especially when they are children, disabled, ill, old, or dying?

How do people in polyamorous families share the work of caring for each other, especially when they are children, disabled, ill, old, or dying?

Polyamory

Why Many Young People See Polyamory as a Reasonable Strategy

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on December 28, 2022

Have young people really ruined monogamy? Or are they just adapting to shifting circumstances?

Have young people really ruined monogamy? Or are they just adapting to shifting circumstances?

Neurodiversity

Neurodiversity and Relationship Variation

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on November 28, 2022

An exploration of why neurodiverse people might be especially interested in BDSM and forms of CNM.

An exploration of why neurodiverse people might be especially interested in BDSM and forms of CNM.

Polyamory

Can Someone Be Both Asexual and Polyamorous?

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on November 1, 2022

Some asexual people have polyamorous relationships, and, for others, it is quite unappealing. This post explains asexuality and explores its relationship with polyamory.

Some asexual people have polyamorous relationships, and, for others, it is quite unappealing. This post explains asexuality and explores its relationship with polyamory.

Resilience

What Makes a Resilient Throuple?

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on October 7, 2022

Even though many people anticipate a romantic threesome to include a man and two women, most resilient triads do not fit that form.

Even though many people anticipate a romantic threesome to include a man and two women, most resilient triads do not fit that form.

Relationships

Common Interaction Patterns Among 3 People

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on September 27, 2022

Are you interacting in a group of three? Check out these common dynamics among three people.

Are you interacting in a group of three? Check out these common dynamics among three people.

Sex

The Truth About Threesomes, Triads, and Throuples

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on August 10, 2022

Sexual relationships among three people fascinate pop culture and are popular among those in consensual non-monogamous relationships with a range of outcomes.

Sexual relationships among three people fascinate pop culture and are popular among those in consensual non-monogamous relationships with a range of outcomes.

Relationships

For Many Polyamorous Relationships, Year 1 Is the Hardest

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on June 8, 2022

Why the first year of many polyamorous relationships is challenging and potentially unstable, and how to get through it to longer-term love.

Why the first year of many polyamorous relationships is challenging and potentially unstable, and how to get through it to longer-term love.

Polyamory

APA Division 44 Addresses Polyamory

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on May 16, 2022

The APA's Committee on Consensual NonMonogamies offers therapists resources to serve CNM clients.

The APA's Committee on Consensual NonMonogamies offers therapists resources to serve CNM clients.