A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude.
Verified by Psychology Today
Exploring Love’s Uncomfortable Truths
Assael Romanelli Ph.D.
Do you try to shy away from the visceral feel of pain and anguish? If so, you are also blocking your ability to feel deep joy.
You want to be free to do and be whatever you want in your relationship. But real growth occurs when you can’t run away from yourself (or your partner).
Some love conflict; others hate it. Most of us don’t utilize conflict as a tool for personal and relational growth.
How would you define love? I define it as positive freedom, so speak your truth in order to deepen your relationships.
When you point your finger at your partner, notice that three fingers are pointing back at you. Start with those.
The reason your relationship is stuck is because you are ignoring the systemic nature of it. Learn to work systemically and deep change will follow.
The art of clear, one dimesional communication will help you move your relationships from ambiguity into clarity and vitality.
Do you lose your temper often only to say or do things you regret?
The coronavirus pandemic is extremely taxing on intimate relationships. Differentiation can help you balance your need for autonomy with sensitively accommodating your partner.
The coronavirus reality is unpredictable, scary, and harsh. Yet between reality and fantasy lies the potential state. Find it and you’ll access wonderful resources that will help you.
Is your life hard? Do you wake up dreading the day ahead? If so, there’s a high probability that you have too much "game" and not enough "play" in your life.
We don't like saying no to others so we tend to avoid, accommodate or attack instead. Learning to say a positive no can help you strengthen yourself and your relationship.
You aren't that original. Most of your relationship behaviors are inherited. The best way to change your behavior is to own the scripts you inherited.
Are you spending a lot of time and energy in your relationships trying to understand what your partner wants? The solution is simple: Talk in numbers.
Do you find yourself creating similar dynamics in all of your intimate relationships? If so, that could be due to a limited “relational business card.” These 6 steps can help.
Do you deflect, stonewall, or become defensive when your partner shares their pain, criticism, or feedback? If you do, then you are not “letting it land,” and that's hurting you.
We all have core beliefs that shape the way we see the world. Sometimes, these core beliefs stop serving us and become limiting beliefs. Here's how to change them.
Do you or your partner tend to say, "I don't understand," when things get hot and sensitive? In such instances, not understanding has a high price for your relationship.
There is a constant power dynamics in play in our intimate relationship. These concepts from psychotherapy and improv can help you soften these dynamics and increase flexibility.
I'm also glad for you. Sometimes, I'm jealous of you. Using quantifiers can add depth, playfulness, and flexibility to your relationships.
Most of us unconsciously belittle our partners to feel better about ourselves. This pattern is normal and unavoidable. These steps will help you to deepen the equity in your life.
Intimacy can be defined as letting my partner see into me (Into-Me-See). These steps will enable your relationship to go deeper.
Do you or your partner tend to get surprised, insulted, or disappointed in moments of conflict? These steps can help set you free.
Do you find yourself "saving the day" in your relationship? Feeling responsible for your partner’s happiness and well-being? Here are some steps to changing that dynamic.
Are you or your partner always nice? Paradoxically, by being more of a pain, you may move toward a more real, vital relationship.
Are you frustrated that your partner is not fulfilling your expectations? Then probably you’re in the lower phases of the wanting spiral.
Are you in a relationship where one partner wants more connection, while the other consistently avoids and distances? These 5 steps will help you change the dynamic.
Do you believe that your partner's pain is your responsibility? These six steps can help you step out of such a symbiotic dynamic.
The money power dynamic is always at play in intimate relationships. If ignored, it can lead to a wide range of negative consequences. These three steps can help you avoid them.
If you truly want to feel free and loved in your intimate relationship, then dare to bring the negative, forbidden, shameful parts of yourself.
Assael Romanelli, Ph.D., is a clinical social worker and a licensed couple and family therapist based in Jerusalem, Israel. He trains and lectures internationally about relationships and improvisation.