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The Journal of Best Practices

Marriage, Asperger's, and being a better husband

Parenting
Growing Confident: Parenting to Shatter Boundaries

David Finch on August 23, 2015

If we are not willing to be vulnerable – to feel just a little bit unsafe – we will never bump into our boundaries hard enough to shatter them.

If we are not willing to be vulnerable – to feel just a little bit unsafe – we will never bump into our boundaries hard enough to shatter them.

Play
The Power of Permission

David Finch on December 9, 2013

The only permission that makes you truly happy is that which you give to yourself.

The only permission that makes you truly happy is that which you give to yourself.

Fantasies
A Happier Marriage Through Fantasy Football

David Finch on November 13, 2013

When our friends invited us to join a couples-only fantasy football league, I had no idea how much it would impact our marriage.

When our friends invited us to join a couples-only fantasy football league, I had no idea how much it would impact our marriage.

Happiness
The Pleasure Trap

David Finch on May 20, 2013

If you’re like me, you have this nasty habit of bestowing upon one person or another the dubious and monumental task of making you happy. Here's why you shouldn't do that.

If you’re like me, you have this nasty habit of bestowing upon one person or another the dubious and monumental task of making you happy. Here's why you shouldn't do that.

Relationships
Use Your Words

David Finch on January 16, 2013

Letting go is not about suppressing one’s feelings. Quite the contrary. Letting go involves acknowledging what you’re feeling, deliberately choosing not to indulge the internal monologue those feelings may inspire, and deciding to move on to the next moment of your day unencumbered by those feelings. For some people, like me, this takes practice.

Letting go is not about suppressing one’s feelings. Quite the contrary. Letting go involves acknowledging what you’re feeling, deliberately choosing not to indulge the internal monologue those feelings may inspire, and deciding to move on to the next moment of your day unencumbered by those feelings. For some people, like me, this takes practice.

Relationships
Do All That You Can to Be a Worthy Partner...Within Reason

David Finch on January 3, 2013

Adapting to suit your relationship is not about changing who you are. It's about learning new behaviors that will enable growth. Your quirks and idiosyncrasies—your essential qualities of character—don’t vanish when you learn something new. Learning how to be a better partner will help to ensure that you’ll always have someone with whom you can share these qualities.

Adapting to suit your relationship is not about changing who you are. It's about learning new behaviors that will enable growth. Your quirks and idiosyncrasies—your essential qualities of character—don’t vanish when you learn something new. Learning how to be a better partner will help to ensure that you’ll always have someone with whom you can share these qualities.

Marriage
Relationship Trouble?

David Finch on October 5, 2012

Where to focus first when your relationship is in trouble.

Where to focus first when your relationship is in trouble.

Mindfulness
How to Have a Great Argument: An Application of Mindfulness

David Finch on August 6, 2012

Arguments are inevitable in most relationships. But transforming an argument into a meaningful discussion in real-time is possible. Here's how.

Arguments are inevitable in most relationships. But transforming an argument into a meaningful discussion in real-time is possible. Here's how.

Friends
National Public Display of Affection Day? How Touching!

David Finch on June 20, 2012

Today is the day when we as a nation can celebrate the very human impulse to grope, fondle, and open-mouth-kiss one another in the company of mildly disgusted strangers. Today is National Public Display of Affection Day. I can't wait to tell my wife.

Today is the day when we as a nation can celebrate the very human impulse to grope, fondle, and open-mouth-kiss one another in the company of mildly disgusted strangers. Today is National Public Display of Affection Day. I can't wait to tell my wife.

Laughter
A Case for Saying Stupid Things

David Finch on June 5, 2012

I was in my office attempting to stick my leg behind my head when Kristen called me, which was strange. Though I call Kristen no fewer than a dozen times a day to check in and chat about whatever I’m working on or thinking about, she normally doesn’t call me unless she really needs something.

I was in my office attempting to stick my leg behind my head when Kristen called me, which was strange. Though I call Kristen no fewer than a dozen times a day to check in and chat about whatever I’m working on or thinking about, she normally doesn’t call me unless she really needs something.

Marriage
How to Live Together: a Relationship Between Time and Space

David Finch on April 17, 2012

When my wife Kristen and I moved in together, I was overjoyed. I wanted to be around her 24 hours a day, but ironically I needed time to myself in order to be good company. Sound familiar? If so, here are a few simple ways to get the time and space you need without straining your relationship.

When my wife Kristen and I moved in together, I was overjoyed. I wanted to be around her 24 hours a day, but ironically I needed time to myself in order to be good company. Sound familiar? If so, here are a few simple ways to get the time and space you need without straining your relationship.

Asperger's Syndrome
Combatting Asperger's: A Losing Proposition

David Finch on February 20, 2012

When I realized that my marriage was in trouble largely because of my behaviors and detachment from my wife, Kristen, I initially blamed Asperger’s. I thought the only way to save our marriage was to somehow conquer my disorder. Fortunately, Kristen did what she always does when I lose sight of the big picture: She smiled, knowingly, and then showed me a different way.

When I realized that my marriage was in trouble largely because of my behaviors and detachment from my wife, Kristen, I initially blamed Asperger’s. I thought the only way to save our marriage was to somehow conquer my disorder. Fortunately, Kristen did what she always does when I lose sight of the big picture: She smiled, knowingly, and then showed me a different way.