The Joint (Ad)Ventures of Well-Educated Couples

Psychology

The Psychology of Profile Picture Selection

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on January 26, 2017

Personal profile pictures often display a glimpse of the arm of another person in them. This makes me wonder, "Why would people choose a picture with someone else in it?"

Personal profile pictures often display a glimpse of the arm of another person in them. This makes me wonder, "Why would people choose a picture with someone else in it?"

Relationships

The Modern Way of Saying "I Love You"

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on November 3, 2016

Ten years ago, “I love you” was the statement that new lovers waited in breathless anticipation to hear. Nowadays, a new statement seems to have replaced "I love you."

Ten years ago, “I love you” was the statement that new lovers waited in breathless anticipation to hear. Nowadays, a new statement seems to have replaced "I love you."

Mating

If You Meet a Shark in the Dating Pool, Swim Away!

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on October 14, 2016

Beware that "soulmate" feelings may be echoes of former trauma that may lead us into a relationship that will morph into the nightmare of the abusive situation.

Beware that "soulmate" feelings may be echoes of former trauma that may lead us into a relationship that will morph into the nightmare of the abusive situation.

Relationships

How Cocaine-Rush Feelings Are Stimulated on "The Bachelor"

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on October 6, 2016

Here are five examples of ways in which the scripting of reality TV shows enhances “cocaine-rush” feelings in new relationships.

Here are five examples of ways in which the scripting of reality TV shows enhances “cocaine-rush” feelings in new relationships.

Relationships

New Love Euphoria Mimics Effects of Crack Cocaine

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on September 28, 2016

There are at least ten compelling reasons to use a model of addiction to crack cocaine to describe the euphoria that results from new love.

There are at least ten compelling reasons to use a model of addiction to crack cocaine to describe the euphoria that results from new love.

Anger

When Rage Is the "Third Party" in a Relationship

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on September 9, 2016

For some couples, rage is a "third party" in the relationship in much the same way as alcohol or drugs can be.

For some couples, rage is a "third party" in the relationship in much the same way as alcohol or drugs can be.

Stress

Financial Insecurity Among High-Earning Individuals

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on August 17, 2013

“Lack of money” and “fighting over financial matters” are dominant issues for even the most well-resourced couples. What might explain these interesting findings?

“Lack of money” and “fighting over financial matters” are dominant issues for even the most well-resourced couples. What might explain these interesting findings?

Career

Financial Status of Highly-Educated Early-Career Women

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on July 4, 2013

Over a series of 4 or 5 blog posts, I'll be discussing the topic of finances as a stressor in marriages. To lay the groundwork for these posts, this post describes several financial characteristics of a highly unique sample of women that I polled in 2008 (The Lifestyle Poll).

Over a series of 4 or 5 blog posts, I'll be discussing the topic of finances as a stressor in marriages. To lay the groundwork for these posts, this post describes several financial characteristics of a highly unique sample of women that I polled in 2008 (The Lifestyle Poll).

Relationships

Relationships that are especially prone to love blindness

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on May 25, 2013

People in love often overestimate the actual potential of a succession of steamy phone conversations, weekend dalliances, or romantically titillating email chats to translate into a successful life partnership.

People in love often overestimate the actual potential of a succession of steamy phone conversations, weekend dalliances, or romantically titillating email chats to translate into a successful life partnership.

Sadly, in real life, there are plenty of “Ariels” (both men and women) who commit themselves in radical ways to people they barely know.

Waiting for a partner who is capable of maintaining a lifelong, happy marriage is an adult version of some research participants waiting for two marshmallows in Walter Mischel's landmark study of delayed gratification.

A blog post about the "beer goggles effect"—what it's really about (e.g., it's not really about alcohol), and how it explains the way that women with vastly different personalities conclude that a given bachelor on ABC's 'The Bachelor' is their pre-destined soul mate.

Relationships

Choosing a Good "Stud" for 'The Bachelor'

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on February 13, 2013

Instead of allowing contestants to know anything of substance about his true character, the producers of 'The Bachelor' would be wise to instead emphasize his raw masculinity. If he is well built, then the plans for the show should include multiple opportunities for him to strip off his shirt and flex his muscles, cast in the role of the supreme protector of "his women."

Instead of allowing contestants to know anything of substance about his true character, the producers of 'The Bachelor' would be wise to instead emphasize his raw masculinity. If he is well built, then the plans for the show should include multiple opportunities for him to strip off his shirt and flex his muscles, cast in the role of the supreme protector of "his women."

Sex

To Breed or Not to Breed...that is the Question

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on January 26, 2013

Can models of sexual orientation help us decide whether and when to launch a family?

Can models of sexual orientation help us decide whether and when to launch a family?

Do kids really kill a good marriage?

Relationships

Excitement, Longing, and Passion in lifelong relationships

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on January 5, 2013

Readers offer provocative perspectives on the possibility of sustaining excitement and passion in lifelong relationships.

Readers offer provocative perspectives on the possibility of sustaining excitement and passion in lifelong relationships.

Relationships

How Long Can We Maintain the Rush of New Love?

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on December 8, 2012

Typically, the law of diminishing returns applies in the realm of love relationships. Almost no relationship remains in the cocaine-rush phase forever as a rule.

Typically, the law of diminishing returns applies in the realm of love relationships. Almost no relationship remains in the cocaine-rush phase forever as a rule.

In terms of emotional safety, there are four ways to have your partner’s back.

Relationships

Shifting Perceptions in New Relationships

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on November 24, 2012

Have you ever wondered how children and their parents or two siblings can say the most awful things to each other, often without putting their relationships in real jeopardy, when newlyweds cannot do the same?

Have you ever wondered how children and their parents or two siblings can say the most awful things to each other, often without putting their relationships in real jeopardy, when newlyweds cannot do the same?

Marriage

How to Ask for Change in Your Marriage

Shauna H Springer Ph.D. on November 17, 2012

There is wisdom inherent in the "mud sandwich" principle when asking for change in close relationships. A healthy love relationship can tolerate plenty of change and mutual correction at the level of specific behaviors if both partners protect each other well on the level of global perception.

There is wisdom inherent in the "mud sandwich" principle when asking for change in close relationships. A healthy love relationship can tolerate plenty of change and mutual correction at the level of specific behaviors if both partners protect each other well on the level of global perception.