The Future of Sex

Sex technology is advancing at an astounding rate and promises to revolutionize intimacy. Chatbots, avatars, sex dolls, and VR porn are some examples of advancing sex tech that are already gaining traction– and this is just the beginning. Intimacy is the core of humanity, yet the ways we are intimate are changing fast.

How future humans engage emotionally and sexually is being determined today by tech companies. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because human intimacy is far from perfect. People today struggle significantly in their romantic relationships. Hopefully, innovative sex tech will help make the future of intimacy less stressful and more pleasurable. However, the risk of negative impact is also real. For at least a subset of the population, sex tech is poised to become a compelling, albeit unhelpful, intimate partner.

Source: Marcos Mesa Sam Wordley/Shutterstock

Yet it’s easy to minimize the impact of tech on sex and the future of intimacy. First, we already have a lot to concern ourselves with. The news alerts us to problems all over the world, so our bandwidth for additional concerns may be diminished. Further, the future is uncertain. It’s much easier to focus on reality than concern ourselves with the unknown. I've found that people tend to justify their lack of concern about the impact of sex tech with one of four statements:

“People will always prefer human partners.”

Even if this were the case—and I don’t believe this is a given— it doesn’t mean that people would reject sex tech and hold out for a potentially elusive but preferred human partner. We are a species that needs connection, while appreciating convenience and efficiency. Advancing sex tech can do many things more proficiently and expediently than a human partner. For example, a better, faster orgasm, a less emotionally needy sexting partner, a perfect-looking body, a technology that embraces your kink rather than being disgusted by it.

Further, not all humans are great lovers, and not everyone has the option for a human sex partner. So, just because a human partner may remain the gold standard, it doesn’t mean that people will always prefer humans to sex tech, or that just being human makes a potential partner more desirable than sex tech.

“I don’t find any of the new tech sexually compelling, so other people won’t, either."

People often incorrectly assume that others’ opinions will mostly mimic their own. But what constitutes great sex is a unique experience. Furthermore, research consistently suggests that younger generations find advancing sex tech more appealing than older generations. This makes sense, since younger generations are more used to interfacing with tech in all aspects of their lives.

Finally, and very importantly, the human brain is neuroplastic, meaning it is modified by experience. Neuroplasticity is amplified in infancy and again in early adolescence—a time when many young people are first exposed to sex tech (Pizzol et al., 2016). Since their young brains are being rewired in response to that sexual stimulation (Brown & Wisco, 2019), it is likely that, as adults, their view of sex tech will be different from that of someone whose brain wasn’t modified by such technology as a young adult.

“The technology isn’t there yet; it’s just not that powerful”.

Sex robots don’t exist in a compelling way today, but it’s truly anyone’s guess how long this will remain the case. Technology advances in leaps and bounds in relatively brief periods of time. For example, it took less than two years from the introduction of smartphones to their being coveted objects. Similarly, porn exploded on the world wide web within a year of the web becoming accessible. Things change quickly, and improvements happen fast.

“New inventions are always accompanied by hype, like the printing press, but people’s worst fears never materialize.”

This concept is rapidly becoming outdated. Sex tech, unlike the printing press, meets complex and primal human needs in ways that human lovers cannot always compete with. Furthermore, AI is quickly gaining in intelligence. Our trust that we can inform our futures by looking to our past is no longer tenable. Humanity’s future relies on our ability to think clearly in novel situations and do what we are supposed to do best: respond logically and humanely. We are living in a unique moment in history. Change is happening faster than ever before, as all aspects of our lives are being modified.

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Moving forward

As we embrace the excitement of advancing technology, let’s also recognize that sex tech is potent, and it will impact the future of intimacy, probably in both positive and negative ways. Rather than waiting to see how this adventure unfolds, I suggest we take a proactive step to assist the more vulnerable among us with this transformation.

For example, I have great concern for the impact of VR porn on adolescents’ experience of intimacy and sex. I also worry about the impact of this tech on folks who are emotionally fragile; for example, how will they handle data breeches of highly personal, sexual information (Yang et al., 2023), restricted access to a beloved artificial companion, deep fake porn (Flynn et al., 2022), and the many other legal and ethical challenges unfolding before us.

Stay tuned as I explore these topics in coming months. But first, let’s recognize that intimacy isn’t a game and sex tech is super-potent. We will better serve future humans if we become more engaged now in a dialogue about the future of intimacy.