Why Do I Fear Success?

Exploring anxieties that arise with achievement.

Posted Jan 28, 2020

"She was powerful, not because she wasn't scared but because she went on so strongly despite the fear." —Harper Lee

There are many reasons why one might fear success. Being caught between the desire to flourish and deep-seated resistance to doing so can be painful and paralyzing. Inhibition after striving and achievement can be indicative of deep down fears. Insight into fears can be freeing.  Just naming them can be a relief and a form of preparedness. Here are some fears and anxieties that may arise with success. 

Fear of:

  1. Making a mistake
  2. Responsibility
  3. Being exposed 
  4. Changing
  5. Not knowing enough
  6. Separation  
  7. Discomfort 
  8. Newness 
  9. Uncertainty
  10. Fatigue from hard work and less personal time
  11. Surpassing others who may be envious and retaliatory
  12. A shift in your identity
  13. Inadequacy or being seen as inadequate 
  14. A sense of unworthiness or guilt
  15. Feeling like or being seen as an imposter 

Self-awareness helps to clarify your particular fears. Exploration and expression of the fears either through your own reflection or the support of another can help break down inhibitions. Finding a way to be comfortable with discomfort, accept imperfections and keep moving is useful and probably preferable to avoidance because avoidance can cause inner angst. There is always a possibility that your intuition is telling you that this new position is not a good fit or the stretch does not work for you right now.  Even if it is not a good fit now, you might grow into it, gain skill and change in such a way that it does ultimately suit you. Change can involve uncovering and developing natural gifts as well as mastering new abilities.  

Overcoming anxiety is not about extinguishing it as much as managing it and even making it work for you. Tolerating humiliation is paradoxically strengthening.  Franciscan Richard Rohr writes, "I have prayed for years for one good humiliation a day, and then, I must watch my reaction to it. I have no other way of spotting both my denied shadow self and my idealized persona." 

by Chloe Barron
Source: by Chloe Barron


   

References

Horney, K. (1947). Inhibitions in Work. Am. J. Psychoanal., 7(1):18-2520

https://hbr.org/2014/03/are-you-too-afraid-to-succeed