Skip to main content

Verified by Psychology Today

Relationships

Understanding Closure (in a Shot Glass)

Closure is something we all can crave.

Key points

  • Closure doesn't mean resolving all issues or answering every question; you may never get the answers you seek.
  • Closure can only be found within.
  • Closure is deeply connected to the concept of change.
Javaistan/ Pixabay
Source: Javaistan/ Pixabay

Closure is something we all can crave. Whether it’s after the end of a romantic relationship, the loss of a loved one, or the need to move on from a particular chapter in life.

Closure can be both healing and puzzling. It also isn’t a neatly packaged box tied up with a bow. It’s also not a magical incantation that makes all your pain disappear.

Closure in a Shot Glass

  1. Acceptance Over Resolution: Closure doesn’t necessarily mean resolving every issue or answering every question. It’s about accepting that sometimes, you may never get the answers you seek, and that’s OK. Closure doesn’t always come with a full explanation; it often arrives when you acknowledge the reality and choose to move forward.
  2. Self-Generated Closure: Unlike the popular belief that closure must come from external sources, like an ex-partner or a past friend, closure can only be found within. We have the power to create our closure by understanding our emotions, reflecting on our experiences, and taking responsibility for our healing.
  3. Embracing Change: Closure is deeply connected to the concept of change. It’s about recognizing that life moves on, and we must evolve with it. Closure can be a catalyst for personal growth and transformation. Look at it as the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.
  4. The Journey, Not the Destination: Closure is a process, not an event. It’s not something you achieve and then forget about. It’s an ongoing journey of self-discovery and healing. You may revisit certain emotions and memories along the way, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t found closure; it means you’re human.
  5. Realism Over Idealism: Closure is not easy, and will not bring complete relief. Embrace the imperfections of life and human emotions, and manage your expectations, so you can cope more effectively.
  6. Empowerment: When you find closure within yourself, you take control of your healing process. Relying on yourself for closure, rather than external sources, is liberating, and it gives you more power over your growth.
  7. Resilience-Building: Embracing change fosters resilience. Instead of viewing closure as the end of something, frame it as the beginning of personal growth, transformation, healing, a new life, a new love experience, a new narrative, and a new story.
  8. Connection and Community: Healing is not a solitary endeavor. It’s OK to seek support, whether through therapy, friendships, or online communities, as you’re going through this journey. A sense of connection can be beneficial in the closure process.

Life is messy, emotions are complex, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to healing. Closure is not about tying up loose ends but about embracing the messiness of life, accepting the unknown, and finding the strength to move forward.

Take ownership of your healing journey and recognize that closure is not a destination, but a lifelong process of growth and self-discovery.

advertisement
More from John Kim LMFT
More from Psychology Today