Our eyes, gestures, and tone bring us together in a more profound way than words alone. It’s why we look hopefully toward the return of in-person, face-to-face connection.
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How challenges can strengthen your relationship
Linda and Charlie Bloom
It’s only one word, and it has just two letters. Although it is clear, it is frequently not spoken, even when it should be.
Stonewalling occurs when attempts to work out a difficult issue have not worked.
Lilly knew that there was something missing in her partnership with her husband, Mitch. But it was hard for her to clearly define what it was.
There are times when one person is so preoccupied with themselves or some personal life challenge that they do not have the energy to devote to caring for their relationship.
When I first met Cynthia, she was in a mindset of hopelessness and despair. She told me, "I just don't trust him anymore."
The more we withdraw from challenges, the more fearful we become.
When we are reaction machines, acting out our fears, we deny ourselves important information that could be enormously beneficial in terms of the larger purpose of our relationship.
For many, the word “dependent” conjures up associations with being helpless, powerless, and out of control. But what would life be like if we truly understood the beauty of dependence?
Abraham Maslow defines self-actualization as the realization or fulfillment of one's talents and potentialities, which is a drive and need present in everyone.
Let’s get clear about what a deal breaker is and what it isn’t.
Coming back to my commitment gave me strength when I felt weak and wounded.
Sometimes, in our attempts to keep our relationship in a zone of calm and cooperation, too much accommodating goes on and resentment builds.
The reward for the work of becoming a person of integrity is that we begin to live a life of harmony.
Most couples wait too long to get help. Unnecessary suffering occurs in secrecy and isolation when you are too embarrassed to ask for assistance.
When we see our differences as opportunities to develop our capacities, we begin to meet them with openness and appreciation.
Dan Savage and Terry Miller are two gay men who are social activists. Both were bullied when they were in high school.
Sacred partnership is a process that takes time, effort, skill, knowledge, intention, and courage. The model of spiritual partnership is new to the human experience.
To establish a great relationship requires emotional intelligence.
Relationship expert John Gottman uses the term "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" to describe the biggest threats to relationships: criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt.
Some people are naturally inclined to devote time and energy to mastering the art of romantic connection. If you do, here are 40 ways you can benefit.
Many of us fear crises and go to extraordinary lengths to keep them from ever occurring. But if we open to them, we can come through wiser than ever before.
The stress is on—so here are a few things that may assure you that your stress level is normal and understandable with the drastic and sudden changes that we are in the midst of.
In the midst of the pandemic, we have an opportunity to take a crash course in conflict management.
We often forget that each crisis contains the seeds of opportunities for growth, learning, healing, and previously unrecognized possibilities.
It’s hard to admit the awful things we do and say and don’t do and don’t say that cause harm to those we love.
Sometimes I have clients come to me who aren’t sure if they want to bother to put in the time, money, and effort that is required once you commit to couples’ counseling.
When we think of rituals, we often think of those offered by religious traditions, designed by others whose frame of reference may not be exactly in keeping with our own.
This one is for people who think that it’s better to wait until things get really bad before getting into marriage counseling.
Sherry said, “You make me feel so angry! You are so inconsiderate. I can’t count on you. You make me so mad!”
Differences don't cause stress—but our attitudes do.
Linda Bloom, L.C.S.W., and Charlie Bloom, M.S.W., are the authors of Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truths from Real Couples About Lasting Love.