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How to Change Your Drinking With the Science of Habit Change

The "golden rule of habit changing."

Key points

  • A drinking habit comprises the three elements of cue, routine, and reward.
  • The key to habit change is to keep the same cue and reward and find a new routine.
  • Simply knowing the formula doesn’t give us the power to change our habits. Habit changing takes effort and practice.

Do you ever feel drinking is like a super stubborn habit that is impossible to break?

Many drinkers tell me that one of the biggest challenges they face in cutting down on drinking is the habit aspect of it.

For some, it's to plop down on the sofa at the end of the day; for others, it’s to pour a glass of wine while boiling the dinner pasta. The sound of popping open a can of beer was my way to know that it was time to turn off my work brain and relax. I could feel a sigh of relief before my lips even touched the can.

It’s a routine, maybe even a ritual. It feels automatic and hard to fight, yet, if you can break down the components that form the habit, you will gain access to the key to deliberately altering even the most stubborn habits.

What is a drinking habit?

A habit comprises three elements: cue, routine, and reward. A cue is a hint that signals our brain to enter the automatic mode to perform a habit. A routine is an action or a series of actions performed in the habit, which can be physical, mental, or emotional. A reward is a specific outcome that the routine will produce.

These three components form what Charles Duhigg calls the habit loop. With enough repetition, a habit loop will become a neurological pattern in our brain, which links a cue with a reward. Eventually, our brains will stop fully participating in the decision-making process. Whenever a cue is activated, a powerful sense of participation in the reward kicks in, driving us to perform the routine that will produce the expected result.

For example, arriving home was the cue I learned to link with the reward of unwinding. Reaching into the fridge and cracking open a beer can is the routine I knew would produce a sense of relaxation. After performing this habit for years, my brain deeply imprinted the loop. Acting on autopilot, I would walk straight up to the fridge after kicking off my shoes.

The more the routine has been practiced, the more it moves out of our consciousness and into our subconscious. The cue can trigger a series of actions without our minds consciously deciding. This is why fighting a habit could be difficult. Fortunately, knowing how habits work gives us the key to deliberately altering habits.

Applying the 'Golden Rule of Habit Changing' to Drinking

Once our brain has conditioned us to link a cue with a reward, unlinking them is almost impossible. Activating a cue will produce a powerful craving that motivates us to find a way to perform the routine, in this case, drinking, to obtain the desired reward. If you have ever tried to fight against the craving, you know how powerful this process can be.

Therefore, the key to changing a habit is not to fight against the desired reward but to find a different way to satisfy the desire. In his book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg refers to this strategy as the “golden rule of habit changing.” Charles points out that the key to changing a habit is “Keep the cue, provide the same reward, and insert a new routine.”

For example, after identifying each component in my previous habit. Instead of depriving myself of the reward of relaxation after getting off from work, I experimented with alternative routines to replace drinking.

Changing Drinking Habits Takes Real Effort

After many experiments, eventually, I was able to discover an elaborated new routine to transport myself into a relaxing state which involves putting on a set of soft pajamas, turning on my favorite music, making a cup of chocolate mint tea, and lighting up a candle before sinking into the couch.

Knowing how to alter a habit does not mean we will automatically acquire the power to change our habit the next day. Changing habits requires repeat experimentation and practice. This is particularly true for a habit like drinking, which often offers us the instant gratification of the reward we desire. Finding an alternative routine will take time and hard work.

The first step to applying the "golden rule of habit changing" is to identify the cue and reward in your drinking habit. As drinking is often a habit that is repeated countless times, many drinkers find they are no longer consciously aware of the cue and rewards that play out in their drinking habits. To help drinkers like me change their relationship with alcohol, I created a free drinking journal to help drinkers gain awareness of the cues and rewards that play out in their drinking habits.

May you find peace, joy, and true freedom from alcohol.

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

References

Duhigg, C. (2020). The Power of Habit. PTS Publishing House.

Please visit my website to learn more about the resource offered at sober curiosity.

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