Real Law and Order: SVU Dealing with DSK of the IMF

Head of the International Monetary Fund allegedly attacks a maid

Posted May 15, 2011

Okay, that headline isn't quite true, but can you just imagine the thousands of screenwriters now drafting versions of a script whereby Mariska Hargitay gets to clobber the head of the International Monetary Fund as he chases her down a Sofitel hallway?

She's wearing a maid's outfit.

Detective Stabler would be dressed as a bellhop.

Eliot Spitzer, Mark Sanford, and Bill Clinton would  appear in brief cameos.

They would make us all proud to be American.

American politicians can be very stupid when it comes to women, but they are rarely violent criminals.

You've read this story, right? You know I'm not even exaggerating when I sum it up by saying that the head of the International Monetary Fund, Strauss-Kahn, was hauled off  the first class section of Air France at JFK and charged with a criminal sex act and attempted rape after an alleged attack on a maid in his room. He left so fast that he forgot his cell phone. The NYTimes version of the story is here:

Sadly, we discover, as we look to Europe, that not being a violent criminal when it comes to women is an increasingly rare trait.

It's not that I'm bitter, but Italy's Premier Silvio Berlusconi makes Charlie Sheen seem like Dr. Phil when it comes to sensitivity and enlightenment regarding gender issues.

Gawker recently quoted Berlusconi as responding to "outrage over his relationship with a 17-year-old stripper by saying that it's 'better to be passionate about beautiful girls than gay.' First of all, no. Second: What does that mean for lesbians?"

We say we love stories about people who work their way up in life, but what we really like are stories about sleezeballs (alleged) who have worked their way down--and are caught.

We love when they are ripped from the headlines and when they are dragged out of First Class.

(Some people especially love when they are Socialists and dragged out of First Class for attempted rape on a maid, but that part both infuriates and disappoints beyond imagination. If you were making it up for a work of fiction, an editor would say "Nah, that's overdoing it.")

Apparently, DSK--as he is known--is currently being dealt with by New York's SVU.

I want Stabler and Benson to do what they do best.

And I want justice for a maid in Manhattan.

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