Sex
Is Your Dog Ruining Your Sex Life?
The psychological impact of your dog being around in intimate moments.
Posted October 8, 2021 Reviewed by Davia Sills
Key points
- Dogs can distract an individual from sexually enjoying themselves, whether they are allowed to be around or kicked out.
- Training a dog about boundaries saves time and hassle—and avoids mood-killing maintenance.
- Both partners need to weigh in on the decision of what to do with the dog when an intimate moment is at hand.
- Couples need to create a sexual environment together for the optimum sexual pleasure for both.
You are getting frisky with your partner on the sofa when suddenly your large Newfoundland jumps up on you to play. Maybe the sound of your husky’s teeth grinding against a rawhide bone is forcing your attention away from your partner. Perhaps, even worse, you are in the throes of passion, and you look over to see the two curious eyes of your beagle staring you down.
We love our dogs. They provide us with love, comfort, companionship, and loyalty. They are part of the family. We would do anything for them. But what about when it comes to having an intimate moment with your partner? Do you let your best friend stick around, or do you banish them from the room?
I have been asked about this. Is it OK to have the dog in the room with you while you are having sex? There is certainly disagreement around this. Let’s take a look.
Yes, the dog can stay.
It mostly depends on the training of your dog. Does your dog recognize boundaries? If the sexual moment is happening in the bedroom, is your dog trained to not jump up on the bed? If the dog can stay out of the way and keep quiet, there is little reason to banish them from the room in which a sexual encounter is underway.
It also depends on the individuals. If both people can easily ignore the dog’s presence, it’s not an issue. Sometimes, if the dog is banished, they may cry or bark from being kicked out, thereby creating a distraction that may alter the mental frame that some need to maintain in order to give and experience pleasure.
The other question is how much time needs to be spent setting up the environment for the dog. It hardly allows for spontaneity. If you are spending too much time establishing boundaries with the dog or distracting their attention with something, it could kill the mood.
No, get them out of here.
Despite their love for their dog, some people simply do not want their best friend in the room during an intimate encounter. Some people are uncomfortable with the idea of the dog being present. Some even find it offensive if their partner doesn’t mind the dog being around. The idea that the dog could get close to them or even touch them during sex repels them.
Apart from such concerns about what it means if you let your dog stick around, distraction is a primary reason to keep the dog away. If they cry or bark at being banished, maybe the manner in which they are removed is the issue. Some dogs may not want to be crated while you have sex, but they may be content with having a baby gate put up across the doorway to the room where they can see in but not enter.
Any noises your pet makes can distract you, but heaven forbid if the dog watches you. Having a dog watch you having sex can be a major distraction and turnoff for some people. In some cases, the dog may even become aggressive as they go into protective mode, thinking that one of their favorite humans is being harmed. It may not even be an aggressive or protective motive; your dog may think it’s playtime and want to play along, or perhaps they are just looking for attention. Whatever the reason, you probably don’t want them jumping up on you.
Finally, for some, it’s an issue of hygiene. Forget sex—they don’t want their dog to even sleep on the bed due to issues they have with cleanliness.
Things to consider
The arguments about allowing your dog to be present in the room during sexual encounters are all over the board. Everyone that is sexually active and owns a dog seems to have more than their fair share of stories about something that occurred when either the dog was in the room or was kicked out of the room. If you are a dog owner, there are things to consider to prevent a disruption to intimacy.
Training is essential. Don’t spend your time setting the situation for your pet. A dog that is trained to recognize boundaries saves a lot of time and prevents the loss of sexual mood. It’s also a good idea to have something around to distract the dog from paying attention to you. A bone or a dog toy is a good option—as long as it’s not a toy that squeaks. Just about the last thing an intimate couple wants to hear is that sharp squeaking sound making the romantic setting comical or annoying.
Most importantly, talk about it with your partner. Make sure that you have their consent and decide together what should and should not be allowed when it comes to the lovable canine. If your partner doesn’t want the dog around—respect that. It’s up to both of you to create the environment that is best suited to a moment of pleasure, whether or not you have a dog.