Creating and Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA
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Mark B. Borg, Jr., Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, and MD, Daniel Berry, RN, MHA are the authors of Relationship Sanity.
Relationship sanity is a balance in giving and receiving—reciprocity, mutuality, and alliance in action—and is created by experiencing oneself as loving and loveable. The insane part comes in when we invest ourselves in relationships that allow us to feel neither loved nor loveable, implicitly cut off from this feeling by a usually less-than-conscious blockage in the flow of giving and taking. While not appearing as floridly insane in most cases, irrelationship—not only the opposite of relationship sanity, but a powerful defense against it—is the imbalance a couple creates together that deliberately excludes space for the open-hearted, reciprocal exchange of love characteristic of relationship sanity. Simply put, relationship sanity is a balance of giving and receiving in any relationship that has the potential for intimacy, empathy, vulnerability, and emotional investment.