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Key points
- The best way for parents to foster empathy and patience in children is to model it for them.
- Parents can strengthen children’s empathy by acknowledging their experience and validating their feelings.
- It's best for parents to check in with their children to ensure they're not missing key information that the kids got directly from school.
Watching young people settle into yet another school year shaped by the COVID-19 pandemic, I can’t help but admire the resilience they’ve displayed over the past year and a half. Of course, the isolation from friends and families as well as in-person learning has taken a toll on some young people. But the good news is many of our students are rising to the situation. They are adapting and moving forward using skills and strategies they have encountered during a time of crisis. We hope they have learned the importance of reaching out to others in difficult times. And for those who continue to struggle, those same skills can help them better cope moving forward.
In addition to keeping up with rapidly changing school plans and socially distant extracurricular activities, many students are also navigating an often politically charged personal choice debate each time they enter their school building. The rejection by some people of preventive efforts like masks and vaccinations, combined with state mandates and school-wide mitigation measures, can be a lot for young people to process. As they continue their journey through another challenging academic year, parents can support children’s mental health by encouraging patience, empathy, and understanding.
How Parents Can Set the Example
Students are not the only ones still adjusting — parents are coming along for the ride, too. One of the best ways that you can foster empathy and patience is by modeling it yourself. After all, you are your child’s most important teacher. Young people care about what parents value and seek guidance from you on what it means to be a good person. You can set an example for your children through your reactions to different situations, like showing patience with school administrators faced with difficult decisions or practicing empathy with other families who make choices that differ from your own.
Strategies to Develop Empathy and Patience
Our young people could benefit from receiving empathy from parents, too. The pandemic has taken so much from them, like time with friends and significant rites of passage like homecoming games or school dances. By acknowledging their experience and validating their feelings, parents can strengthen children’s empathy for others. This empathy is a vital lesson for your children to experience, as striving to understand another person’s point of view is a skill that will prepare them to have healthier relationships in adulthood.
Empathy and patience work hand-in-hand in helping young people demonstrate resilience in challenging times. Professor of psychology and patience expert Dr. Sarah Schnitker defines patience as our ability to stay calm in the face of frustration, adversity, and suffering. Our young people are experiencing some, if not all, of those forces right now. To encourage patience, Schnitker advises three important steps:
- Identify how you are feeling
- Imagine the situation from a new perspective, and
- Sync those skills together to achieve your goals — in other words, connect skills for regulating emotions with the bigger purposes in your life.
This approach applies to both parents and children. Still, parents can lead by example and talk through this process when facing tough times.
Tips for Supporting Children’s Overall Emotional and Mental Health
Licensed clinical professional counselor and certified professional school counselor Phyllis Fagell spends a lot of time listening to young people at school. She suggests examples of effective ways parents can show patience, empathy, and understanding towards children. These include parents creating a sense of belonging, helping kids see themselves as part of the community, and helping them to stay positive with social interactions.
With many kids having to wear masks and readjust to in-person social interactions, there may be more opportunities for misunderstood communications. She also advises parents to set attainable academic goals, as young people’s nervous systems might be overtaxed, and their focus and ability to retain information may be lower than before the pandemic hit. “We want to normalize that everyone is feeling this way and that they can ramp up slowly,” Fagell says.
Other ways to support our young people this school year include:
- Stay up to date on pandemic facts from a trusted, credible source like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
- Stay connected to your child’s school by keeping up with announcements and communications and advocate for your child’s needs when appropriate.
- Keep explanations of issues age/developmentally appropriate.
- Check in with your children — especially older ones, as they could be receiving information directly from school that could be helpful for you to know.
- Look after your child’s mental health and seek professional help if necessary.
It’s important for parents to find ways to share everyday moments with their children during challenging times. Remind your children that they are not alone and that we’re all going through this together. Above all, when young people know they matter and have unconditional support from caring adults in their lives, they can withstand the stressors this school year may bring.
This post was co-authored by Eden Pontz, Executive Producer, and Taylor Tropea, Communications Associate at the Center for Parent and Teen Communication.
