The Strain of Masking: Reclaiming Our Neurodivergent Selves

a white, black and gold carnival mask

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For many neurodivergent employees, work isn’t simply a way to earn a living, build a career, or live out a calling—as much as we might yearn for it. Instead, it’s an arena where we are constantly performing, walking the tightrope of fitting in under the harsh lights of unforgiving expectations. Without a safety net.

This performance, known as masking, comes with a steep emotional cost.

Masking is the act of suppressing or camouflaging neurodivergent traits, behaviors, or needs to fit into a neurotypical workplace culture. It often involves mimicking others’ social behaviors, suppressing natural expressions, and hiding sensory challenges.

Masking could make neurodivergent employees appear “professional” or “easy to work with” on the surface. But it is not a sign of thriving. It is not easy to breathe under the mask. Masking is a high-cost survival strategy.

It is exhausting.

What Masking at Work Looks Like

Masking can take many forms, including:

• Stifling stims and monitoring movements. Suppressing movements like fidgeting, and effortfully adopting neurotypical mannerisms.
• Preparing scripts. Rehearsing socially acceptable responses to avoid saying the “wrong” thing in meetings or casual conversations.
• People-pleasing. Saying “yes” to requests to avoid confrontation or to fit in and not be seen as different—even when overloaded.
• Holding back. Not expressing unique ideas or downplaying talents out of fear of bullying.

All of this leads to feeling like we are “on stage” all day, presenting a version of ourselves that’s palatable to others but far from authentic.

And it comes at a significant cost.

The Psychological Consequences of Masking

Masking drains energy and takes a toll on our health. Studies show that masking is linked to:

• Exhaustion and burnout. Suppressing natural behaviors leads to emotional and physical fatigue. It also contributes to long-term stress, making it harder to recover and recharge.
• Erosion of self. Over time, the line between authentic self and “masked self” can blur, leaving us questioning who we are and what we actually need to thrive and be well.
• The lack of belonging. If we change ourselves to fit in, we do not experience authentic belonging.
• Mental health struggles. There are correlations between masking and increased anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation.
• Delayed recognition of burnout. Masking can hide workplace strain, as employees may feel compelled to pretend they’re coping even when they’re not.

For some, the weight of masking becomes so heavy that they leave jobs—or even entire industries—despite being highly skilled.

Why Masking Happens

Neurodivergent employees mask—intentionally or automatically—because workplace cultures are not designed with our needs in mind. Common reasons include:

• Fear of judgment or stigma.
• Fear of bullying.
• Concerns about career progression or being perceived as “not promotable.”
• A lack of accommodations or understanding from colleagues and managers.

Research highlights the widespread use of masking among autistic adults; it is also associated with ADHD and other neurodivergent neurotypes. It is often driven by fear of judgment, the desire to avoid stigma, or the need to maintain employment in environments that lack understanding and inclusion.

Neuroableist contexts compel neurodivergent employees to seek safety in masking behaviors. Yet that defensive "safety" is not a true safety to thrive, belong, and grow our talents.

The Road to Unmasking

Many neurodivergent people crave authenticity at work—but fear for their careers and livelihoods. Yet, there might be a way to lessen the toll of masking without a dramatic act. Unmasking does not mean dropping all self-protective behaviors overnight. It can mean gradually aligning your workplace actions with your authentic self in a way that feels manageable and safe.

Encourage yourself with this mindset: Unmasking is not failing at or giving up professionalism—it’s reclaiming your energy, creativity, and well-being. It is being professional in your way. It allows you to shift from survival mode to a place where you can thrive, bringing your strengths and insights to work without the constant stress.

Start small. Let yourself stim discreetly. Ask for written meeting agendas. Take breaks when you feel overwhelmed instead of pushing through discomfort. These steps might feel risky at first, but each act of authenticity reinforces the truth that you deserve to work in a way that honors who you are.

Unmasking doesn’t mean rejecting workplace norms. It means helping to reshape them to make room for the diverse ways people succeed.

Finding an ally helps—and do not discount “quiet allies” who offer a safe and reassuring presence without grand gestures or sweeping pronouncements. Being yourself with just one person can be a great relief.

Creating Workplaces Where Masking Is Not Needed

Masking isn’t inevitable. Employers have the power to reduce the need for masking by nurturing inclusive cultures where all employees—neurodivergent or neurotypical, introverted or extraverted—feel valued and supported.

Strategies for Employers

1. Ask employees what works and does not work for them. Encourage open conversations and make it clear that all employees are supported in developing their strengths.
2. Normalize flexibility. Allow employees to choose environments and work styles that work best for them, such as remote work, flexible hours, or quiet spaces. Limit meetings and do not insist on participation in social occasions, which often intensify the pressure to mask.
3. Ensure evaluation by outcomes. Too often, employees are evaluated based on personality and mannerisms. This forces the exhausting masking and may result in deep burnout. Instead, evaluate performance by clear, objective, and transparent criteria central to the specific role.
4. Address toxic cultures. Environments where bullying and toxic positivity are common push employees to mask.

In The Canary Code, A Guide to Neurodiversity, Dignity, and Intersectional Belonging at Work, I outline systemic actionable strategies for creating work environments where authenticity is valued over conformity, and where all can thrive.

Workplaces don’t need perfect people. Workplaces don’t need clones who all think and act alike. Performance comes from real people who can work with authenticity and a sense of being respected for who they are. Authenticity creates a win-win organization.