Grit
It's Not Quitting, It's a Strategic Pause
Sometimes knowing when to stop is as important as recognizing when to show grit
Posted April 20, 2022 Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano
Key points
- Continuing when something is futile is counterproductive.
- Knowing when to stop is as important as recognizing when to show grit and gumption.
- We need to know when to shelve an idea and recognize when it is not worth pursuing right now.
Persevere. Don’t quit,. See it through. Just do it. Show them what you are made of. The signs of continuing and showing resilience are everywhere. We are told that high achievers do not quit. That is true—up to a point. However, continuing when something is futile is counterproductive. Sometimes knowing when to stop is as important as recognizing when to show grit and gumption.
As someone who studies extreme high achievers, the idea of perseverance comes up often. Nearly every astronaut I have interviewed was not accepted on their first try, so they tried again and made it on their second, third, or fourth try. Olympic champions such as Scott Hamilton and Apolo Anton Ohno openly share their experiences with early losses and missteps and how they pushed through the pain of defeat all the way to Olympic gold. Books are written about the topic, and endless keynotes about not giving up are motivational talks everyone needs to hear. We require inspiration to see us through challenges in life, unexpected transitions, hurdles, bumps, and craters on our path to success.
But sometimes we need to know when to shelve an idea and recognize when it is not worth pursuing right now. For example, multiple Nobel Prize winners have told me that sometimes a project, although it may appear promising, needs to be put on hold as the technology they need is not available yet. So they shelve an idea and return to it when the tools they need are firmly in place.
It is not quitting, which has a negative connotation. Instead, it is putting an idea on the back burner. There is a difference. Quitting means, you will never go back to try and solve the problem or overcome a challenge. Putting it on the back burner means you are strategically holding the idea as you collect new data, which will help you see your goal through to fruition.
While you put your idea on hold, there are several things you can do to further your cause, collect data and learn new ideas:
Develop your network
You may not know the right person who can help you in your pursuit. So as you shelve an idea, consider meeting interesting people who can help you connect dots and spark new ideas or collaborations. You might enjoy this Psychology Today post on how to meet new people.
Create a pilot study
Sometimes you cannot get the the right person to pay attention to your project until you show them some data. For example, when Dr. Deborah Heiser was a graduate psychology student, she was assigned to a 700-bed nursing home for her practicum. She realized that the residents were showing signs of depression but the staff refuted the idea, stating that the residents were fine according to some government form. Heiser knew something was wrong and ran her own study. Her results were clear. Many of the residents in the nursing home were clinically depressed and were undiagnosed. Her pilot study revolutionized how senior citizens were diagnosed and ultimately led to proper care.
Talk to a mentor
When we are truly invested in an idea, we may lose perspective. We are so deep inside the jar we cannot read the label. A mentor can help us see the bigger picture, offer guidance, and introduce us to the right people.
Yes, sometimes you need to buckle up, push through, and persevere. Other times, you need to take a strategic pause. You are not giving up; you are recalibrating. (For more, see my new book, The Success Factor.)
References
Gotian, R (2022). The Success Factor. London, UK: Kogan Page.