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Gratitude

How Gratitude Is Good For You

Gratitude can boost your mood, health and relationships.

Key points

  • Gratitude can be beneficial for your mood and health.
  • You can cultivate gratitude via letters and conversations.
  • To be grateful, you need to see that a blessing did not come about because of effort or value.
Couleur/Pixabay
Source: Couleur/Pixabay

If you want a long life, it may help to be grateful.

In research on gratefulness and longevity, using a pool of older women, the most grateful experienced a nine percent lower risk of death of any cause. The data came from nearly 50,000 women between ages 69 and 96 who completed a six-item gratitude questionnaire. ranking how much they agreed with the statements, “I have so much in life to be thankful for” and “I am grateful to a wide variety of people,” among others.

The more grateful women tended to be in better health, slightly younger and partnered, and participate in social or religious groups. But the research team tried to weed out the effect of those factors. “Those other things are important, but it doesn’t explain away the whole of the effect of gratitude,” said senior study author Dr. Tyler VanderWeele from the Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health in Boston.

Gratitude in a Crisis

When Sharon fell about seven feet while hanging a curtain she landed flat on her back, including the back of her head. When she was able to get up, her first thought was, "Oh this could have been so much worse," she says. "Miraculously, that thought stayed with me."

Gratitude is ideal in a crisis, as Sharon learned. "I was grateful that I happened to have someone coming to work on my kitchen that day—as I live alone. It hurt to breathe or move and I was grateful when he brought me a glass of water. I was grateful when I went to the ER and it was peaceful that morning, almost empty, and the doctors were kind. I was grateful I could afford to sit and not work for a week. I don’t know why I felt gratitude—I hadn’t been trying to become more grateful and I can be as discontented as anyone else. So, I’m grateful I had this pleasant emotion to balance out the discomfort."

"Gratitude helps counter our natural negativity basis—our brain's tendency to notice and hold on to the bad stuff over the good.” explains psychologist Ashley Smith, author of The Way, I See It: A Psychologist’s Guide to a Happier Life.

Gratitude is more than being upbeat. Once you've noticed something worth celebrating, you need to recognize that you didn’t earn, deserve, or create it. Gratitude invites us to think about a source. The source could be a supreme being, a friend or neighbor, humanity or your dog. You may not be specific but understand that goodness can come from outside you. If you can remember this, you may develop an ongoing sense of being immersed in unconditional goodness. You can feel that life is a gift.

That attitude is great for your body, mental health and relationships.

Having more gratitude may boost immunity, lower blood pressure, improve sleep and boost self-esteem.

If heart disease runs in your family, take note: In one study, heart failure patients who kept a gratitude journal—noting every day for two months a few things for which they were grateful—had lower levels of inflammatory hormones that aggravate heart disease, compared to a group who didn’t journal.

Gratitude fights depression, which is linked to diseases of all kinds and especially heart disease. When Martin Seligman, a founder of the field of positive psychology, had volunteers write letters of gratitude to a special recipient, any signs of depression dropped for about a month. Gratitude letters were the most powerful happiness tool he found. Smith proposes that you train yourself to think of something you're grateful for whenever a worry strikes the way you might drink a glass of water to avoid snacking.

Expressing your gratitude will help the people around you. Don't give in to shyness or social anxiety. According to a series of experiments, when researchers contacted people who had received thank you notes, they were more likely to be surprised and pleased than the writers expected. Demonstrations of gratitude in a couple make both sides feel closer the next day and can even protect your bond during bad spells when you're arguing over money, one 16-month study found. It helps to express gratitude to a parent as well.

Gratitude During the Holidays

As we enter fall and the holiday season is coming up, it's a good time to start exercising your gratitude skills.

Year round, you can enjoy daily life more if you can focus on an “attitude of gratitude.” But in the holiday season, when we feel pressure to "be happy," you might feel just the opposite. Holidays can feel pressured, lonely or simply routine. “When it’s food, football and parade,” says New York psychologist Karen Weinstein, “it’s easy to miss the thanks.” The secret is looking for bright spots. You might not like cold weather or have children but still enjoy seeing them trick or treating. You might not like turkey but be grateful that your sister-in-law is cooking again this year. “Find pockets of goodness and sweetness,” Weinstein says. If that’s hard, “Use a magnifying glass.”

Cultivating and Expressing Gratitude

Gabrielle Henerson/Unsplash
Source: Gabrielle Henerson/Unsplash

Keeping a gratitude journal is increasingly popular. You might jot down a few good things each night or make it a weekend ritual. However don't expect immediate results, notes Weinstein. Some of her patients begin to worry that they "didn't do it right." If you'd like inspiration, consider buying a journal with inspiring quotes.

When you are noting your thanks, think about each thing and why it happened to you, although there may be no reason. Other emotions may well up. Don't stop them. Gratitude doesn't mean denying emotions like anger and sadness.

If you're in love with your camera, Smith suggests snapping a daily picture of something you appreciate or find beautiful.

You might write your gratitude notes on scraps of paper you keep in a jar. Make a ritual of pulling out the jar on bad days or on birthdays or holidays.

Look for ways to say what you appreciate in the people around you, as often and specifically as possible.

Write a gratitude letter. Share your daily bright spots or what you appreciate about each other around the dinner table or any time your loved ones are together. For some families, this is a Thanksgiving ritual. Don’t be afraid to start a new tradition. Weinstein doesn’t ordinarily do a Thanksgiving go-round, but when it happened last year, she was pleased. “We had lots of young people and it was really interesting and sweet to hear what they had to say,” she says. “It enriched the evening.”

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