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Adolescence
Why Family Meals Can Be Healthy For Parents
It's healthy for everyone when families eat together often.
Posted May 4, 2021 Reviewed by Abigail Fagan
Key points
- Family meals can benefit children through a healthy lifestyle and strong emotional skills.
- Adults tend to be happier and eat more healthily when they often have shared meals.
- Parents should find ways for the entire family to take responsibility and participate in meals.
Families ate together more during the pandemic, some research suggests.
Was that true for you? Even if your family didn't eat together, as people start to go out more, you may want to think about establishing a mealtime for everyone at least a couple of nights a week.
Family mealtimes are great for children. Your kids are likely to be more emotionally resilient, healthier, and have fewer behavioral problems if you eat together. They are also less likely to become overweight.
If getting dinner together feels like a burden, it might surprise you to learn that family mealtimes are great for adults, whether they're eating with a toddler, teen or older parent. For one thing, you're likely to eat more fruits and vegetables. Mothers are less likely to go on fad diets or binge and fathers are less likely to eat fast food the more often they eat with the family. We like to set a good example for the little ones and feed our elders well.
If you eat alone, you may be more likely to skip meals and can end up with poorer health. Eating in front of the television can also lead to weight gain, for both adults and children.
There are emotional benefits as well. It's a time for your family to slow down, talk, and feel supported. You can step away from electronic gadgets and the stimulation of the outside world.
Keep up the ritual during your children's teen years and they're likely to carry on the tradition, with all its benefits, if they become parents. You can think of it as a kind of family "heirloom," writes Anne Fishel, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, who recommends shared mealtime in her family therapy practice.
Overcoming Obstacles to Family Meals
1. You or a spouse may have work hours that make family mealtimes hard. You can still aim for a shared mealtime on certain days. Make it easy: Keep the meal simple or eat a meal prepared elsewhere. You can still establish a ritual of sharing eating.
2. It feels like too much work. You resent doing all the chores. So how can you get a spouse or children to do more?
The problem may be that you set standards that are too high. Your husband or even an older teen could make dinner for the family. If you have a husband who "doesn't cook," have him pick a meal and make it with you. The next time he does it on his own, for everyone.
So if your teen starts wanting to make her own meals and eat them alone, you might ask her to make some for everyone and be in charge of the meal. Some tips:
Let the person in charge choose the meal.
Establish a routine. You cook Mondays. Dad cooks Tuesdays. Your 15-year-old cooks Wednesday. Thursday is leftover night. Friday is eating out.
Be specific about expectations, when the meal will begin, when you need a shopping list, who does clean up.
Your younger children will want to get involved, too. Depending on age, lean towards letting children make decisions and take responsibility when they're helping in the kitchen. Ask your child about their favorite meals and find ways to make everyday versions. If you have more than one child, look for ways they each can take ownership of their tasks. Let them have fun. It's okay to chop vegetables a different way or even add an ingredient to a meal you wouldn't usually use–well, within reason.
3. Sometimes everyone has specific tastes or restrictions and you can't make everyone happy with the same meal. Again, that doesn't rule out eating at the same time.
A version of this story also appears on Your Care Everywhere.
